Keys To The Game
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Opening Game Week 1 – Ravens
Keys to the Game.
FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! A real game for us to talk about. And not just any real game, a home Monday night game against a division rival favored to make the playoffs. In a 16 game schedule, the first game isn’t always hugely important, but this is as big as an opening game can get. This game can be the head start the Bengals need on a playoff run, or put them in a hole in the division. Could this be why the Bengals have been so conservative in the preseason?
And for the morons freaking out over the Bengals performance in the preseason, here are a few team rankings from the meaningless games:
Overall Team Offense:
1. Jaguars
2. Cardinals
4. Lions
5. Titans
8. Bucs
10. Browns
Top Team Defenses:
2. Saints
5. Cowboys
6. Redskins
7. Colts
8. Falcons
10. Browns
And the Bengals were the #1 defense against the run. Does anyone still think we can make judgements based on the preseason? If so, then put all your money on the Browns. With a top 10 offense and top 10 defense, they are going places.
1. When the Bengals have the ball: No team in football can go toe to toe with the Bengals offense, not even the much heralded Ravens defense. They can try to exploit mismatches, but they can not go head up and stop the Bengals. The only way the Ravens can stop the Bengals is if the Bengals become one dimensional. This can happen through play calling or based on down and distance. If the Bengals can avoid 3rd and long, and have a constant mix of plays, the offense should be able to stay on the field and put up the points needed to win.
Now this is easier said than done. A good defensive call stops Rudi at the line on 1st down. A Carson misfire on 2nd down, and that’s all it takes for the Bengals to be in big trouble. It’s up to Soul Patch Bratkowski to keep the Ravens defense out of a rhythm. In the two games with Baltimore last year, 3rd down and distance could predict the Bengals success. On 3rd and 5 or less, the Bengals converted 3 of 4 attempts. On 3rd and 6 or more, the Bengals converted just 3 of 21 attempts, gave up 2 sacks, and had 1 interception that was returned for a TD. Mixing up the plays, directions, QB drops, snap count, etc, and utilizing all of the Bengals’ weapons on first and second down will be the key to keeping the Bengals in 3rd and short.
2. When the Ravens have the ball: The Ravens philosophy the past few years has been to pound the ball hard with a huge line, huge fullback, and huge running back. They figured their defense could keep the score low enough and give the offense the ball enough times that the opposing defense would eventually wear down. The Ravens are changing their philosophy this year and it is yet to be seen if it can work. Gone are power backs Jamal Lewis and FB Ovie Mughelli, and they are replaced by Willis McGahee. The Ravens supposedly believe that McGahee can be a stand alone running back allowing them to use 3 wide receivers and open up their offense. But how successful can this new philosophy be? Even when Steve McNair was in his prime as an MVP/Super Bowl caliber QB, he ran an offense with a power backfield of Eddie George and Lorenzo Neal, and his favorite target was TE Frank Wycheck followed by WR Derrick Mason. That was hardly a wide open offense. Today, TE Todd Heap is McNair’s favorite target followed by again, Derrick Mason plus 7 years. I don’t buy it, the Ravens offense does not scare anybody. They will try to win by allowing McNair to be the QB he is, taking care of the ball, hitting the TE and controlling the game with his arm and legs.
If the Ravens do go with a single back set, we will get to see exactly how much confidence the Bengals have in Ahmad Brooks. If Ahmad Brooks is the LB the Bengals say he will be, they will sit him in the middle of the field all game and let him shadow McGahee. If the Bengals trust Brooks’ knowledge and ability, they would expect him to be able to shut down McGahee as a single back, allowing the rest of the defense to focus on the 3 WR. I have a feeling we will see a lot of nickel coverage with Ahmad Brooks either out of the game or in some blitz package if the Ravens go single back. We will see.
What you do want to see: The Ravens try to open up their offense. The more open the Ravens offense, the more opportunity for the Bengals to capitalize on a Ravens mistake.
What you don’t want to see: Early turnovers or stagnant playcalling by the Bengals.
Matchup of mullets: TJ vs Quinn Sypniewski
Say it aint so TJ? Actually, TJ is just being a team player since Alan Reuber was cut. TJ decided to ditch the pony tail and go with the moustache and mullet look for his team photo. The Ravens do not have a true mullet, so TJ is matched against Quinn Sypniewski. Let’s hope Sypniewski adopted this look purely as a joke for team picture day. BENGALS WIN
Matchup of Moustaches: TJ vs DB Samari Rolle
The majority of these guys have the same interests on their bios, take Shea for example:
Interests: Lifting weights, Tang Su Do, watching Ultimate Fight League and hanging out
Hmmm, overcompensate much? Why didn’t he also add that he likes weapons training, racing motorcycles, and having lots and lots of heterosexual sex. He probably also drives a $200,000 yellow sports car……not that we should read anything into that. BENGALS WIN
After comprehending this piece of information, losing to a franchise that has male cheerleaders is completely unacceptable for the Bengals.
Most likely to be in a boy band: Ginger Graham vs. Cheermale Jonathan
Ginger Graham likes to be seen around town with local boybander Nick Lachey. Even though Lachey is trying to blow it up solo, I wouldn’t be surprised if Graham makes an appearance on his new album. In his bio, Jon’s interests are “Personal training and emceeing competitions.” No idea what that means, but I bet he would call out Gingerballs as a sucka MC. JON MOST LIKELY TO GROW A CHINSTRAP BEARD
Little known Ravens fact: The Baltimore stadium deal which prompted Art Modell to take the Browns out of Cleveland is the same stadium deal offered to Mike Brown of the Bengals. In response, Cincinnati voted to build 2 new sports stadiums while Cleveland voted only to build Jacob’s field for baseball. Modell was the landlord of Cleveland Municipal stadium which housed both the Browns and Indians at the time. Once the Indians left for Jacob’s Field, Modell secretly decided to move the Browns out of Cleveland for the new stadium in Baltimore. The city of Cleveland sued Modell and the NFL for breach of contract. After negotiations from the lawsuit, it was determined that Modell could take his players to Baltimore, but could not take Browns logo or history. The NFL then set out to create a new expansion Browns.
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Keys to the Game.
FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! A real game for us to talk about. And not just any real game, a home Monday night game against a division rival favored to make the playoffs. In a 16 game schedule, the first game isn’t always hugely important, but this is as big as an opening game can get. This game can be the head start the Bengals need on a playoff run, or put them in a hole in the division. Could this be why the Bengals have been so conservative in the preseason?
And for the morons freaking out over the Bengals performance in the preseason, here are a few team rankings from the meaningless games:
Overall Team Offense:
1. Jaguars
2. Cardinals
4. Lions
5. Titans
8. Bucs
10. Browns
Top Team Defenses:
2. Saints
5. Cowboys
6. Redskins
7. Colts
8. Falcons
10. Browns
And the Bengals were the #1 defense against the run. Does anyone still think we can make judgements based on the preseason? If so, then put all your money on the Browns. With a top 10 offense and top 10 defense, they are going places.
1. When the Bengals have the ball: No team in football can go toe to toe with the Bengals offense, not even the much heralded Ravens defense. They can try to exploit mismatches, but they can not go head up and stop the Bengals. The only way the Ravens can stop the Bengals is if the Bengals become one dimensional. This can happen through play calling or based on down and distance. If the Bengals can avoid 3rd and long, and have a constant mix of plays, the offense should be able to stay on the field and put up the points needed to win.
Now this is easier said than done. A good defensive call stops Rudi at the line on 1st down. A Carson misfire on 2nd down, and that’s all it takes for the Bengals to be in big trouble. It’s up to Soul Patch Bratkowski to keep the Ravens defense out of a rhythm. In the two games with Baltimore last year, 3rd down and distance could predict the Bengals success. On 3rd and 5 or less, the Bengals converted 3 of 4 attempts. On 3rd and 6 or more, the Bengals converted just 3 of 21 attempts, gave up 2 sacks, and had 1 interception that was returned for a TD. Mixing up the plays, directions, QB drops, snap count, etc, and utilizing all of the Bengals’ weapons on first and second down will be the key to keeping the Bengals in 3rd and short.
2. When the Ravens have the ball: The Ravens philosophy the past few years has been to pound the ball hard with a huge line, huge fullback, and huge running back. They figured their defense could keep the score low enough and give the offense the ball enough times that the opposing defense would eventually wear down. The Ravens are changing their philosophy this year and it is yet to be seen if it can work. Gone are power backs Jamal Lewis and FB Ovie Mughelli, and they are replaced by Willis McGahee. The Ravens supposedly believe that McGahee can be a stand alone running back allowing them to use 3 wide receivers and open up their offense. But how successful can this new philosophy be? Even when Steve McNair was in his prime as an MVP/Super Bowl caliber QB, he ran an offense with a power backfield of Eddie George and Lorenzo Neal, and his favorite target was TE Frank Wycheck followed by WR Derrick Mason. That was hardly a wide open offense. Today, TE Todd Heap is McNair’s favorite target followed by again, Derrick Mason plus 7 years. I don’t buy it, the Ravens offense does not scare anybody. They will try to win by allowing McNair to be the QB he is, taking care of the ball, hitting the TE and controlling the game with his arm and legs.
If the Ravens do go with a single back set, we will get to see exactly how much confidence the Bengals have in Ahmad Brooks. If Ahmad Brooks is the LB the Bengals say he will be, they will sit him in the middle of the field all game and let him shadow McGahee. If the Bengals trust Brooks’ knowledge and ability, they would expect him to be able to shut down McGahee as a single back, allowing the rest of the defense to focus on the 3 WR. I have a feeling we will see a lot of nickel coverage with Ahmad Brooks either out of the game or in some blitz package if the Ravens go single back. We will see.
What you do want to see: The Ravens try to open up their offense. The more open the Ravens offense, the more opportunity for the Bengals to capitalize on a Ravens mistake.
What you don’t want to see: Early turnovers or stagnant playcalling by the Bengals.
Matchup of mullets: TJ vs Quinn Sypniewski
Say it aint so TJ? Actually, TJ is just being a team player since Alan Reuber was cut. TJ decided to ditch the pony tail and go with the moustache and mullet look for his team photo. The Ravens do not have a true mullet, so TJ is matched against Quinn Sypniewski. Let’s hope Sypniewski adopted this look purely as a joke for team picture day. BENGALS WIN
Matchup of Moustaches: TJ vs DB Samari Rolle
These 2 will probably see a lot of each other in the game. TJ will win this matchup on the field and in the mirror. BENGALS WIN
Duel of the uglies: Jeff Rowe vs. Adam Terry
Add the fact that Adam Terry is 6-8 330pounds, I would say a real life encounter would be frightening. However, Terry spends his off time speaking to middle school students as part of Baltimore’s DARE program, so he really is just a teddy bear. BENGALS WIN
Battle of old men: Bryan Robinson(33) vs Matt Stover(39)
Another kicker that is the oldest member of the team, seems like the position to have in the NFL. Since Stover is a kicker, BENGALS WIN
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper vs Maniac Hall of Fame
No idea what look this guy is going for, perhaps that is why he is in the hallowed Maniac Hall of Fame class of 2003. The best part is the empty QB wristband he is wearing. At least he could put his personal information in there so he can be identified when found in the dumpster behind the stadium after the game. The stormtrooper is still a bigger loser. BENGALS WIN
Trashiest looking cheerbabe: Tiffany vs …Uuhhhhhhhh, WHAT!?!?!!
THE RAVENS HAVE MALE CHEERLEADERS!!!!! Male cheerleaders represent all that is wrong with modern society, and are probably the main reason why Al Qaeda hates us. The Ravens entire cheer squad is disqualified due to his most horrible of developments. I can just imagine how psyched up Ray Lewis gets when he sees a wicked fierce back handspring from a pumped up hair gelled cheerdude.
Ray Lewis: Are my dogs in the house?!?!?!
Cheerbiff Henry: Yes, I have a Boxer named Daisy (Literally taken from his bio).
Henry 
Shea
Ray Lewis: Are my dogs in the house?!?!?!
Cheerbiff Henry: Yes, I have a Boxer named Daisy (Literally taken from his bio).
Henry 
Shea The majority of these guys have the same interests on their bios, take Shea for example:
Interests: Lifting weights, Tang Su Do, watching Ultimate Fight League and hanging out
Hmmm, overcompensate much? Why didn’t he also add that he likes weapons training, racing motorcycles, and having lots and lots of heterosexual sex. He probably also drives a $200,000 yellow sports car……not that we should read anything into that. BENGALS WIN
After comprehending this piece of information, losing to a franchise that has male cheerleaders is completely unacceptable for the Bengals.
Most likely to be in a boy band: Ginger Graham vs. Cheermale Jonathan
Ginger Graham likes to be seen around town with local boybander Nick Lachey. Even though Lachey is trying to blow it up solo, I wouldn’t be surprised if Graham makes an appearance on his new album. In his bio, Jon’s interests are “Personal training and emceeing competitions.” No idea what that means, but I bet he would call out Gingerballs as a sucka MC. JON MOST LIKELY TO GROW A CHINSTRAP BEARD
Little known Ravens fact: The Baltimore stadium deal which prompted Art Modell to take the Browns out of Cleveland is the same stadium deal offered to Mike Brown of the Bengals. In response, Cincinnati voted to build 2 new sports stadiums while Cleveland voted only to build Jacob’s field for baseball. Modell was the landlord of Cleveland Municipal stadium which housed both the Browns and Indians at the time. Once the Indians left for Jacob’s Field, Modell secretly decided to move the Browns out of Cleveland for the new stadium in Baltimore. The city of Cleveland sued Modell and the NFL for breach of contract. After negotiations from the lawsuit, it was determined that Modell could take his players to Baltimore, but could not take Browns logo or history. The NFL then set out to create a new expansion Browns.
Labels: Male Cheeleaders, overcompensate, yellow sports cars
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