Week 17 – Dolphins
The Bengals finally got the running game going, and did they need it since Carson Palmer had his worst game as a Bengals starter. This season is Palmer’s 4th as a starter, and it is his 2nd worst behind his first year as starting QB. His numbers and play have regressed, but not enough that Bengals fans should worry. To see what is going on with the Bengals offense, one only needs to compare numbers from previous Bengals seasons. Here is a comparison of the Bengals offense from Palmer’s best year 2005, to this current season:
Year---TotYPG---YPPlay-----PassAPG--YPG--YPA---RunAPG--YPG----YPA
2007---345---------5.5-----------36.2------246----6.8----26.1--------98.6-----3.7
2005---358---------5.7-----------33.6------239-----7.1----28.7------119.4-----4.2
Remember, the 2005 season also included a healthy Rudi Johnson, Chris Perry, Tab Perry, a season with Chris Henry, Rich Braham and Eric Steinbach. The main difference in the offense is the drop off in the rushing game. In 2005, the Bengals featured one of the Best lines in the NFL with Levi, Willie, Steinbach, Braham and Boobie Williams opening holes for Rudi Johnson and keeping a tight pocket for Carson. Chris Perry accounted for 607 yards of total offense and added a new dimension to the Bengals. Basically this season, the Bengals offense has relied more upon Palmer’s arm, while also giving him less help. The loss of Steinbach and Braham has allowed the pocket to be pushed back into Palmer’s face while removing his safety valves of the Perry twins. Losing Steinbach was bad, but the real pain is in losing Braham’s veteran leadership and toughness. Big Whit and Stacy Andrews have played okay in Steinbach’s absence, but Eric Ghiacuic has been manhandled on multiple occasions this season. This season, the Bengals line and RBs have been in constant change while the only reliable options have been Chad and TJ. That translates into more defensive focus and tighter windows for Palmer, Chad, and TJ to work. The blocking troubles only add to the problem. With that in mind, Palmer’s numbers have taken a predictable dip, but nothing that cannot be corrected with line and running game help. Palmer stats:
Year---------ATT--COMP%---YARDS---TD---INT---Rating
2005---------509-----68%------3,836-----32----12-------101.1
2007---------543-----65%------3,815-----23----19--------84.6
Palmer did not play in week 16 of 2005, so these stats are an equal 15 game comparison. Everything is roughly the same except for the TD/INT ratio which happens when the Bengals have limited options that the defense can key. Helping Palmer, Chad and TJ will allow them not to press, have more success, and build on the tough times they worked through this season. Knowing the Bengals can run the ball with Watson and Dorsey will allow them to run by committee next year with success, no matter who they have on the roster. A free agent or drafted center would also help.

Keys to the Game
The Bengals are off the hook and do not have to worry about being the only win for the Dolphins this season, therefore, I do not care about this game. And I assume most fans and probably most players do not care about this game. The only people getting after it this week will be the bubble players trying to keep up their chances for a roster spot next season. Surprisingly the Bengals do not have many of these players as most Bengals are young draft picks being given their window of opportunity, or old vets impervious to the one game performance. People playing Sunday that fit the bubble description would be – Chatman, Blue Adams, Frostee, Fanene, Schlegel, Daniel Coats, and if he plays, Alex Stepanovich. Some veterans will not return next season, but it will not be because of their play down the stretch. They will be cut because their years in this league have made their ability a known quantity, and the Bengals will know they do not need them. So sit down, relax, and watch the meaningless Bengals game for its pure entertainment value…….and then grab a piece of paper and write an angry letter to Mike Brown thanking him for his years of dedicated service to substandard performance.
The non-winning streak is alive again and Handsome Mike is hoping for a run at his own title of 14 straight seasons. You may think I am kidding, but I am not, 14 straight losing seasons in the NFL is quite an accomplishment. The NFL Salary Cap was instituted in 1994, and as a “hard cap” teams cannot spend above or below the limits of the cap for any reason. In 1994’s cap, the difference between the most and the least a team could spend was $8.65million. Think about it, at absolute maximum, the top and lowest teams in the league could only be $8.6million apart, that might be a single player on a roster of 53($8.6 is what Justin Smith made this season). Having every team within the same range and not being able to win over 50% of your games for 14 years probably takes just as much work as a Super Bowl appearance. Adding to that accomplishment, Prince Mikey’s squad won 25% or less of their games in 7 of those 14 years. Seriously, think about it, winning 71 out of 224 chances when forced within the cap to use the same resources as every other team. Adorable Michael always likes to use the small market and economic excuses, but thanks to certain lawsuits filed against the NFL, the financials of the NFL franchises have come to light, and the excuses do not hold any water(Which is the only thing Brown should hold for the Bengals). The Bengals have been in the top half of teams in profit for almost every one Brilliant Mike’s tenure, and are also right in the middle of the pack when it comes to revenues. There happens to be an NFL team just 90 minutes away that is in a smaller metro area and older stadium that won the Super Bowl last season. It may not be a fair comparison to pit the Bengals against the Colts, but in economic terms, they are very similar. Here are the Bengals and Colts revenues and profits for the past 10 years in millions of dollars:
Year---CINrev---CINprof---INDrev---INDprof
1998------69----------2------------71---------0
1999------92----------4------------98-------16
2000------92----------4----------107---------5
2001-----120---------15----------118-------(-7)
2002-----130---------16----------127--------19
2003-----141---------33----------137--------18
2004-----150---------14----------145--------14
2005-----171---------46----------166--------17
2006-----175---------21----------167--------25
2007-----194---------12----------184-----(-17)
AVG-----134---------16.7--------132--------9
The Colts make less profit, but that is probably because they put money into hiring football minds like GM Bill Polian. Instead, the inherited Braintrust of Dumblebots continues to think they know what they are doing when they have proven for 17 years running that they cannot win a playoff game. During the time of the financials listed above, Cuddly Mike and crew have had their most ‘success’ with an overall record of 59-100 and 0-1 in the playoffs. During that same time, the Colts have gone 105-54 and 7-6 in the playoffs including a Super Bowl win. What does this mean? Mike Brown should be applauded for his living dissertation on the failures of socialism -- Everyone can be given and required to use the same resources, but some people through their sheer bastion of incompetence can still crumble within the system. Lucky for the NFL this isn’t the USSR and Mikey isn’t causing the collapse and dismantling of the eastern bloc. “Hey Money-pinching Mike, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!!!”


When the Dolphins have the ball: The Dolphins offense was their weakness coming into the season. Then losing Wes Welker and Randy McMichael in the offseason, and Ronnie Brown and Trent Green during the season pretty much sealed their fate. They suck and they made a serious run at being the worst team in NFL history. The Bengals should get another look at their defensive backfield of the future – Ndukwe, White, Hall, and Joseph – which played well in their first game together last week. They need a load of game experience before they are a dominant group, but they could be a season or two away from becoming the new Bengals SWAT Team. With Brooks, Jeanty, and hopefully Landon Johnson and Dhani Jones returning next season, the LB corps is one impact player away from being good and could use more depth obviously. The D-line needs the most help to improve the Bengals defense. Peko and Geathers are the only players on the roster who should be locks next season. Of the other 6 players on the roster, maybe a few can be kept for depth. As said many times before, Justin Smith is an okay starter if the Bengals could sign him for what he is actually worth. In January, the Bengals signed Geathers to a 6 year, $33.7million deal, but Geathers is younger than Smith by 5 years, much more versatile, and has already had a 10.5 sack season. In February, the Steelers signed defensive end Aaron Smith to a 5 year $25million deal. Aaron Smith is very much like Justin Smith, a solid and durable starter that does not bring the big numbers. The only difference is that Aaron Smith made the Pro Bowl in 2004 as a DE in a 3-4 while Justin has never made the pro bowl as a DE in a 4-3. A 4-3 is a much easier defense for a DE, but Justin and Aaron have equal career highs in sacks with 8.5. Since Justin is a step below Aaron, a 4 year $16million deal should be the max offer the Bengals give Justin in the offseason, especially considering they just gave him $8.6million for one season. LBs and DLs come free agency and draft time.

When the Bengals have the ball: Too bad Dede Dorsey hurt his ankle last week, this game would be the perfect opportunity for the Bengals to turn Dede loose and see what he can do. The offense took a step back this season, but the key players are still in place to be a top offense again. Injuries and free agency hurt the offense this year, but free agency and the draft can help them get back. The offense needs a few role players to be the top 5 force it was just 2 seasons ago. We should not see much this week from the Bengals offense in a meaningless game against the Dolphins. The once top Dolphins D is now old and beat up. They are last in the NFL against the run, so Watson will probably get another high carry day. Other than that, the Bengals will probably take it easy with most of the focus being on Chad’s post game party in his Miami hometown. I wonder if Joey Porter will be invited.

What you do want to see: The Bengals come through this game healthy. The last thing the team needs is another training staff fiasco with a misdiagnosis and multiple surgeries in the offseason. Even Marvin went to outside doctors for his ankle, what does that say? What is the over/under on the number of players not ready to start the 2008 season? I say 8.5.

What you don’t want to see: Justin Smith get 7 sacks on Cleo Lemon to give Smith his career high and the monster contract to set the Bengals defense back 5 years. Same thing with Dexter Jackson getting a few INTs to justify him being on the team next season.

Matchup of mullets: Carson Palmer vs S Tuff Harris

This dude doesn't really have a mullet, but he does have a nice bald spot comb forward. His name is also Tuff. He is definitely Hangin' Tuff when it comes to continuing the charade that he is not bald. BENGALS WIN

Matchup of Moustaches: Kenny Watson vs OT Cory Lekkerkerker

This guy has it all moustache, hair, ugly, and I am not sure in which category to put him. He was an undrafted free agent out of UC-Davis, but I am sure when you walk into a camp at 6’7” and your name is Lekkerkerker, people notice you. Lekkerkerker also reminds me of a great song by my favorite band Berzerker, which I assume is Lekkerkerker's theme music when he walks around:

BERZERKER WINS


Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. LB Channing Crowder

Channing Crowder gets bonus points for this famous quote about the Dolphin's trip to London this season, "I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries," Crowder said. "I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that. I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."
That's terrific. BENGALS WIN


Battle of old men: Bryan Robinson(33) vs DL Keith Traylor(38)

Old fat people. AMERICA'S HEALTHCARE SYSTEM WINS

Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs Mr and Mr Ricky Williams

South Beach anyone? We now have the ultimate tag team show down. Can the Stormtrooper and Darth Chinstrap put their differences aside long enough to beat Dink and Doink? I think so. Just like the Bengals can finally put things together for their first 2-game win streak of the season, loser Bengals fans can come together to beat the Dolphins. Mr and Mr Williams gave their opinions of football few seasons ago which we can watch below:

BENGALS WIN
Cheerbabe Tussle:
The Dolphins do not have very interesting bios, but they have the All-Name team when it comes to cheerbabes. Let's list a few: Ireivy, Teather, Tarrin, Bibiana, Ashton, Lola-not to be confused with Fabilola who is also on the team, and a girl named after my second favorite band, Genesis. It's picture time:

Erin


Little known Dolphins fact: Dan Marino fell to the 27th spot in the 1983 NFL Draft due to rumors of his marijuana use in college. He ended his career with 420 touchdown passes. Coincidence?


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Week 16 – Browns
Are we still doing this? Is anybody still here? Hello? The Bengals were just torched by some dude named Shaun Hill. Hill’s statline from Sunday, 21/28 – 197 yards – 1 TD – rating 105.8 also 5 rushes for 12 yards and 1TD. Let’s recap Shaun Hill’s passing and rushing stats for the 5 seasons from 2002 to 2006:
2002
2003
2004
2005: 2 rushes for -2 yards
2006
Wow, he actually improved on those numbers. And is it really all that surprising that the Bengals were embarrassed by a terrible team starting their 3rd string QB? The Bengals have always been a mess on west coast road trips. Adding that this Bengals team is one of the most unprofessional teams in the NFL and that they have no reasons left to play, then you have a team going through the motions worse than a Steven Segal movie.

The worst part about the game lies in the fact that few bright spots remain as building blocks for next season. All phases of the game- offense, defense, special teams, coaching, front office, celebrity golf tournaments- all of them suck right now. The Bengals were thought to be missing a few key pieces from being an elite team, but now they appear further away than they have since Marvin’s first season. The Bengals have hit a 10 year low as they are now 3 point underdogs at home to the Clowns. The Bengals have been favored to win 9 out of 14 games this season, and their record in those games is 4-5. That means 9 times the Bengals were supposed to be the better team, but they lost to the Browns, Chiefs, Bills, Cardinals and 49ers. If that is not underachieving, I do not know what is. I have a lot of time on my hands, but not enough time to go through each team and see their record when they are favorites, but I have to believe that 4-5 is the worst record in the league.

Keys to the Game
Remember when this was an appropriate picture for the Browns?

That was the picture shown after the Browns week one blowout loss to the Steelers leading into the Bengals game. The Bengals had a 7-0 lead in that game with the ball and the Browns crowd booing their lungs out, ready for another collapse. The Bengals went on to have an interception and fumble in Bengal territory to allow the Browns to build momentum and a lead. The rest of the Browns season builds from that point. Had the Bengals not given up the ball and points, the Browns were primed for another collapse and a Derek Anderson benching. Instead, the Browns are going to the playoffs, and the Bengals started the season 1-4. Not much looks good this week as the Bengals defense cannot stop anyone, and the Bengals offense is pass only and inconsistently. Jamal Lewis has always been a Bengals killer, and he is probably dreaming of another 200 yard day this Sunday. For the Bengals to win they have to run the ball, and the defense has to play to the best of their ability…..which is slightly above horrible.


When the Browns have the ball: So much for the Bengals improved defense. They had been out-inepted by the opposing offenses allowing the Bengals to move all the way up to the 26th spot in the league. However, they ran into the juggernaut that is Shaun Hill which dropped them 2 spots to number 28. Not only are the Bengals the 8th worst in the league against the run, but if the opposing QBs were combined into one person, that player is better than Carson Palmer. Here is a comparison of the Bengals opposing QBs combined against Peyton Manning and Carson Palmer; keep in mind this conglomerate includes such top rate passers as Steve McNair(twice), Damon Huard(benched), Chad Pennington(benched), J.P. Losman(benched), Kurt Warner(backup), Vince Young(hurt), Brock Berlin(3rd string, 1st ever start) and Shaun Hill(3rd string, 1st ever start) for 9 out of the 14 games:
Name----------ATT--COMP%---YARDS---TD---INT---Rating
FrankenQB----450---66%-------3,193------25----15-------92.3
Palmer---------522----65%--------3,581-----22----17-------86.2
Manning-------471---63.5%------3,547-----28-----14-------94.9
FrankenQB would have the 4th highest completion percentage in the NFL, you know what that means? It means if I see one more quick slant against the Bengals for 8 yards I am going to throw up so hard that my puke will puke. And again, there aren’t many bright spots for next year. The young DBs were supposed to have growing pains, but they are now turning into legitimate pains. They could be okay with some help in the pass rush and LB coverage department, but they may never get it from this team. They have two guys with standout ability in Geathers and Ahmad Brooks, but we will see if they ever become dominant players. Other than that they a some guys who could be solid starters in this league, but they aren’t worth paying more than average starter money. They are Peko, Justin Smith, Landon Johnson, Jeanty, J. Joe, Hall, Madieu and Ndukwe. For depth keep Dhani, Fanane, and Marvin White, then sprinkle some veterans and draft picks around these guys and try to put something together. If Justin Smith and Madieu ask for more than average player money in the offseason, let some other team make that mistake. There are plenty of serviceable D-ends out their that will play for a quarter of the money that Smith’s franchise tag costs.

When the Bengals have the ball: Putting Chad’s drops, TJ’s yelling, and Carson’s misfires aside for a second, the true problem with the Bengals offense is the running game. Pundits talk all the time about how forcing 8 defenders in the box to stop the run will free up receivers. The Bengals running game is so weak that I wonder if they even see 6 men in the box sometimes. The Cardinals killed the Bengals running game with barely more than the 4 d-linemen alone. The fact that the Bengals passing game is still top 5 in the league shows what they could do if the offense had any balance. So far this season, the Bengals have run the ball on 37.5% of their plays. Even the pass crazy Patriots do not have that type of imbalance as they run the ball 45% of the time. The Bengals actually average more passing yards per game than the Colts, and are 10th in the league in TD passes. The Bengals rushing attack is 23rd in the league overall and is averaging a measly 3.7 yards per carry. Against the 49ers, the Bengals threw 33 times to 17 run calls. It really should not matter who is running the ball, if the defense is backing off that much, the Bengals line should be able to clear enough space for Joe Merrick to run for 5 yards (If you are not familiar with Joe Merrick, see picture below). An interesting stat is that Dede and Watson combine for 739 yards on 147 carries, which is a 5 yard average.
Multiple upgrades will need to be made to improve the running game next season. First, Soul Patch needs to focus more on running the ball instead of intricate bunch formation pass sets. Second, the Bengals will need the personnel to step up and run the ball. The line and backs have not been solid this season and the Bengals must find consistent starters at all positions. That needs to be a priority even if it requires a one year fix like the Browns received in their 1 year contract with Jamal Lewis. If Dede and Watson together can average 5 yards per carry, could the answer be a Dede, Watson, Irons combo next season with Rudi or Chris Perry as the last back on the roster?
The new ‘Broadway Joe’ is not an animal, he is a Pro Bowl product of the system.

What you do want to see: Where is Brady Quinn when the Bengals need him?

Oh yeah, he looks busy. Doesn’t look like he will be entering the game to save the day for the Bengals this week. Nice pink shirt.

What you don’t want to see: The Browns win the division, is that even allowed? If the Browns win out and the Steelers lose, the Browns will be in the AFC North penthouse. That would be like a member of the Spears family winning the Nobel Prize in Literature. (Whodeyfans.com was nominated last year, but lost our bid to become the 2nd American winner in the last 50 years)
The next Toni Morrison.

Matchup of mullets: Carson Palmer vs CB Leigh Bodden

The last pass Palmer threw against the Browns was picked off by Bodden in the Bengals desperation attempt at a comeback with 20 seconds left. Bodden also recovered Rudi Johnson’s early game fumble that helped spark the Browns comeback and season momentum. Palmer and his new mullet will be looking for revenge and Lehigh Bowden will come to play. BENGALS WIN

Matchup of Moustaches: Kenny Watson vs Romeo Crennel

The powers of moustache have finally kicked in for our man Romeo. He is now being elevated to the upper pantheon of coaching to join his moustachioed brethren. The Browns are currently battling Jeff Fischer and the Titans for the final Wild Card spot, so the powers of moustache will clash for the playoffs. This should be like the old WWF where the loser has to shave his moustache, since by not making the playoffs they do not deserve a moustache. CLOWNS WIN

Duel of the uglies: Jeff Rowe vs. Dave Zastudil

Zastudil is one ugly dude, but he should get credit for perhaps the most amazing event of the season. Zastudil hurt his back early in the season, and the Browns were forced to sign punting replacements from off the streets. One of these lucky souls was a 38 year old man named Scott Player. Being older, Player was in the NFL before the league outlawed the 1-bar facemask, so he is allowed to wear one. Giving his best effort to stick in the NFL, Player took advantage of the 1-bar facemask rule making him the only player in the NFL to wear one in years. He also sported a hefty moustache, here is a picture of a true American Hero, Scott Player:

Zastudil deserves a round of applause for allowing this to happen. CLOWNS WIN

Battle of old men: Bryan Robinson(33) vs Ted Washington(39)

Season stats
Bryan Robinson – 14 games, 18 tackles, ½ sack, 1 forced fumble.
Ted Washington – 5 game, 6 tackles.
Robinson dominates yet another geriatric carcass. I am beginning to think that older players may not be as good as younger players, but I need more research. I will add that to the list of studies being conducted under the Www.whodeyfans.com Fellowship at the The Scripps Research Institute. The only study currently underway is The Mullet and its supposed effects on fast twitch muscle fibers.BENGALS WIN

Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs This A—hole

We now have video:

If New Jersey is the armpit of America, then the northeast Ohio/western Pennsylvania region is definitely the butthole.....and this news coverage is proof. CLOWNS WIN

Cheerbabe Tussle: Ben-gals vs The Bone Lady

I still cannot get enough of the Bone Lady. I hope she rides the Bonemobile to Cincinnati this weekend so all of the bone-a-holics in Cincinnati can get a ride in the backseat. Wait, that didn’t sound right, I hope everyone in Cincinnati gets to enjoy the Bone Lady’s presence and Bone It. Again, wait, let’s just look at some Ben-gals:

ErinKellie

I think the BENGALS WIN

Little known Browns fact: The Clowns have not won a division championship since 1989. A few details of that year:
Look Who’s Talking was a top 5 movie.
New Edition broke up.
Madonna’s Like A Prayer was the #1 song.
America’s Funniest Home Videos premiered.
Growing Pains was a top TV show.
The Soviet Union still had 2 years left.
Nintendo released the power glove.
Basically, the Browns suck, but in years when they actually win, the entire year is lame.


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This thought didn’t even occur to me until I read this story in the Dayton Daily News. We’re probably going to have to put up with a lot of Browns fans this weekend. Ugh.

It’s probably too late to ask you not to sell your tickets if you were thinking about it. Maybe you can try to sell it to a person you know is a Bengals fan.

Even when their team sucks, Browns fans are some of the most obnoxious on the planet—including soccer hooligans. Read about Number 1 Fan’s experiences at the Cleveland tailgate during week 2. We’re lucky he got out alive.

This year, it could be worse. The Browns don’t actually suck, and they have a first round playoff exit in their future. So you know their fans are going to be full of themselves.

Don't know what we can do about it at this point, but lets hope the Bengals show the Browns just how welcome they are.

A couple points:

-Don't forget this is the Battle of Ohio. The team has that to play for.

-The lifetime series against the Browns is tied, 34-34.


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A few thoughts heading into this weekend’s game:

• It’s fitting that Eric Steinbach is returning to Cincinnati this weekend, because after watching Carson’s performance last week by the bay, I wonder about his confidence in his O-line. What used to be such a strength over the last three years is not anymore, and I think you can see that in the way Palmer’s been playing.

His throws seem rushed and his footwork seems off. Now, he’s only been sacked 17 times, compared to 49 times for Jon Kitna. So I don’t think it’s just the pressure he’s facing. I also think that he knows the running game won’t help him much, so he’s putting more pressure on himself to make things happen. And Steinbach, as a guard, was a big part of creating holes for the running backs, and we’re missing that this year.

• I actually had a dream this week that the Bengals fired Chuck Bresnahan, a.k.a. Barney Rubble. I don’t usually dream about assistants on coaching staffs, but I woke up excited until I realized that it was all just a crazy, happy dream.

But wouldn’t it be great if we had two coordinators who we were afraid would get hired away by a team looking for a head coach at the end of the season? I don’t think any team would take our two coordinators to be clubhouse attendants right now.

• Seeing the season Jamal Lewis is having (1084 yds, 83.4 yds/gm, 4.3 yds/carry, 9 TDs) gives me hope that Rudi’s career isn’t over. Everyone thought Lewis was done a couple of seasons ago, but right now everyone is saying how great he is again.

After I wrote the above paragraph, though, I checked out the stats, and Lewis has never had a season as bad as Rudi’s is this year. Here are their yds/carry over the last five seasons, going back to Lewis’ amazing 2003, when he rushed for 2006 yards. That was also the year Rudi split time with Corey Dillon.


Year---------Jamal Lewis----------Rudi Johnson
2003------------5.3----------------------4.5
2004------------4.3----------------------4.0
2005------------3.4----------------------4.3
2006------------3.6----------------------3.8
2007------------4.3----------------------2.9


Lewis had 2 years under 4 yds/carry, and now is back above 4. But he never went under 3, and he spent an entire offseason with D’Angelo Barksdale in prison, which probably wasn't the best offseason training program.

They are similar style backs, and Lewis' stats tell me that Rudi isn't necessarily done. But Lewis is a better back than Rudi ever will be, so maybe it's not a good comparison.

• According to wikipedia, a backhanded compliment is an insult disguised as a compliment. It is generally used to belittle or condescend, or often one uses a backhanded compliment when one wants to insult someone in a subtle way.

Check out these quotes from the Bengals about how great Derek Anderson is this year (from the Enquirer):

Rookie cornerback Leon Hall: "He has pretty much (ridden) the wave. He has a lot of playmakers around him. He gets the ball to them and doesn't make a lot of mistakes."

Cornerback Johnathan Joseph: "He's a smart player. He's not going to try to do too much. He's going to try to make the right plays. He does what's called."

Defensive lineman Bryan Robinson: "I think a lot of (Anderson's success) has to do with the offensive line. He has only been sacked 12 times. If the quarterback can stand there and not worry, it makes his job easier."

Across the field, a fellow quarterback, Bengals starter Carson Palmer, appreciates what Anderson has done.

"I think he's played well all year," Palmer said. "He's gotten the ball to their playmakers in Kellen Winslow and Braylon (Edwards) and done a good job of getting them into the right running plays because (tailback) Jamal Lewis has obviously had a great year."

Actually those might not be backhanded compliments, because they’re not that subtle. That tells me the Bengals are a little pissed at the Browns, and Anderson, because that loss in Cleveland was really the beginning of this long, crappy season. I hope to see an angry Bengals team on Sunday, and to that I say: It’s about f—ing time.


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Everything in this game made me angry. Right now Carson Palmer is not a good quarterback. He can not make a tough throw or read the field. He is off on timing and has no touch.

I am also sick of hearing about the talent of our wide receivers. TJ will be angry if he is not in the pro-bowl. Who cares about the pro-bowl when the team is so terrible. Cory Dillon is back in the house.

This team has no drive or gut. I think it starts with the coaches. Marvin almost punted with 3 minutes left. A San Fran injury gave us the chance to actually go for it. Then to waste a time out on a stupid challenge. That is not good coaching.

The running game is so predictable. When Rudi is in he will run it into the middle of the pile.

The run, run, pass Bengals are back. Maybe I should move to Cincinatti.


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Today, Mark Curnutte raised the question of the Bengals impending free agents. Personally, I'd think he'd talk more about a very winnable game against the 49ers. But, realistically, we're already thinking about next year anyway. And we might as well start with our unrestricted free agents.

Check out the full list at the Enquirer.com, but here's the guys I think we should try to keep.

Stacy Andrews OL
We can't rely on Big Willie anymore. Let's face it.

Landon Johnson LB
Dhani Jones LB
Lemar Marshall LB
We got caught with our pants down in turns of LBs this year, and these three seem like pros we could hold onto. And they're in the system, so they'll provide some much-needed consistency.

Madieu Williams S
A very important cog in our defense. The question here is what will it cost?

I wouldn't mind keeping Justin Smith, but I don't think that's a good value. He's going to cost more than he's worth. Heck, we're paying him more than he's worth this year, in terms of on-field production.

Who do you think we should keep?


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Week 13 – 49ers
The juggernaut is back as the Bengals plowed through another victim, but they are still looking for their first 2 game winning streak of the season. The game was so ugly on Sunday that it wasn’t truly raining, God was trying his best to flood the stadium because the game was actually more offensive than Sodom and Gomorrah. That or the clouds were just throwing up. At home, the Bengals could not put away the Brock Berlin led Rams until less than 2 minutes left in the game. Brock Berlin is the same dude who was benched at the University of Miami for a guy named Derrick Crudup after losing two straight games to end Miami’s 39 game win streak. The Miami offense that year featured NFL Pro Bowlers Kellen Winslow, Frank Gore, and Roscoe Parrish, but Berlin managed 7 points in both losses. Berlin then spent 2 years on NFL practice squads until making his first roster this year, Sunday was his first NFL game experience. The only bright spot was that the Bengals managed to run for 192 yards. You would have to go back to November of 2004 for the last time the Bengals ran for that many yards. That was the 58-48 shootout with the Browns in which Rudi ran for 202 yards himself. Imagine Rudi ripping off 202 yards now and you quickly realize he is not the same player. Rudi’s success in the past was because he was a bowling ball that could break the first tackle and fall forward. He was never a speed or big play back. Since Rudi has lost weight, he has not gained speed, but has lost his bowling ball ability to break tackles. He is now a slow running back that cannot grind out extra yards. None of the Bengals running backs can break tackles which is why the Bengals cannot put drives away and gain the tough yards. The Bengals now need to work the ball more with Watson and Dorsey because they are visibly faster than Rudi and much quicker to hit the holes. If you aren’t going to get broken tackles out of your RBs, at least give it to the guy who can run the fastest and cover the most ground before going down on first contact. It will be a tough decision next year when the Bengals have to decide whom to keep out of Rudi, Watson, Irons, Perry, and Dorsey.

Keys to the Game
Most Bengals fans regard the 49ers as the team that has stabbed the Bengals in the heart during the 2 best seasons in Bengals franchise history. We had to sit back and watch as the 49ers had 2 championship parades at the Bengals expense:

The Bengals and 49ers have both had very disappointing seasons in 2007, however, the 49ers situation is much worse than the Bengals. While the Bengals suck this year, the team has many key players in place to be successful, they just need help. The 49ers thought they had key players in place, but now some of them are questionable, most notably QB Alex Smith. The 49ers hoped Smith would step up in his first year as starter and take control of the position. He has disappointed leaving some to question Smith’s ability and draft status. And talk about striking while the iron was hot, Alex Smith parlayed one outstanding college season in a new style offense, and a down year for QBs, into a #1 overall draft pick. Smith was a 2 year starter at Utah under Urban Meyer’s new west coast option spread offense. The offense still gives teams trouble, but at that time nobody had a clue how to stop it. Playing in the weak WAC Conference, Utah went undefeated and earned a BCS Bowl berth in which they faced the sub-par, 8-3, #20 ranked, Big East champ Pittsburgh. Beating Pitt in the Fiesta Bowl gave a huge spotlight to Utah allowing Urban Meyer to leave for the Florida coaching job, and for Alex Smith to leave early for the NFL draft. Had Smith played another year without Meyer’s offense, or even happened to be in another draft class, his life would be completely different. In the 2005 draft, the top 3 QBs were Smith, Aaron Rodgers and Jason Campbell. In 2004 they were Eli Manning, Philip Rivers and Ben Reach-around-berger, and in 2006 they were Vince Young, Matt Leinart and Jay Cutler. Talk about luck. Smith leaving for the NFL in a down year, immediately following his best performance, would be like having a group of Ben-gal cheerleaders walk by as I was completing the Louisville Chugger and planting a HR on top of Longworth Hall, all while standing next to this guy.

It may be a fluke, but if the right people see it at the right time, you are set.

When the 49ers have the ball: The Bengals defense gets another break this week as the 49ers offense is ranked 32nd in the league, and will probably be forced to start their 3rd string QB. I do not think any team in league history has been lucky enough to face a string of saps like a hurt Steve McNair, Kurt Warner, a hurt Vince Young, Roethlisberger in a mud bowl, Brock Berlin, and now Shaun Hill. Like Berlin, Hill will be making his first career NFL start after entering the league as an undrafted free agent in 2002. Before last week, Hill had played 2 plays in his NFL career and both were taking a knee to run out the clock. With the help of the crew of losers, the Bengals defense has fought their way all the way up to 26th in the league. Expect the same defensive game plan this week with the Bengals crowding the line and blitzing Dexter Jackson for run support. The Bengals have finally found a successful role for Jackson, and that is whenever the Bengals play a terrible team that is out of the playoffs, starting a 3rd string QB, have an offense ranked in the 20s, play in the NFC West, and are out of all passing options, Jackson can blitz as the unblocked 8th defender with no responsibilities and try to make tackles in the backfield. Once a player finds a niche, it’s hard to let them go. Other than that, the Bengals will dare the 49ers to throw and Shaun Hill will either jump start his career a la Derek Anderson, or you will never see him again a la Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

Shaun Hill might get his door kicked in early Monday morning depending on his performance.

When the Bengals have the ball: Carson Palmer’s recent slump continued on Sunday as he threw one TD pass and unfortunately is was for the Rams. Overall, Palmer played a not completely awful game as evidenced by his 73% completion percentage, but it was the big mistake that again allowed the opponent to take advantage of the sorry Bengals. Lucky for Palmer, Berlin could not get anything going with the Rams offense so only one Rams TD was scored on Sunday. At times it appears Palmer is pressing and buying into Soul Patch’s philosophy of ‘do nothing the easy way.’ Most apparent is when the Bengals get close to the endzone, Palmer tries to force passes into the endzone when shorter routes are wide open. With the way the season has gone, it’s no wonder Palmer is trying to force TDs. But in the past it was his consistency that led the Bengals, not his jaw-dropping thread 3 defender throws for TDs. Palmer has had his amazing throws the past few years, but the important part was in between when he was reading the quick open route and limiting mistakes. Hopefully Palmer can get back on track this week by returning home to California and playing the league’s 23rd ranked defense. The 49ers defense gave up 484 yards to Kurt Warner 2 weeks ago, so Palmer should get some confidence back.

What you do want to see: Lewis Billups catch the ball that bounced off his chest in the endzone in Super Bowl XXIII. 20 seconds later, Montana becomes a Super Bowl legend instead of the guy that threw the INT to lose the game and kick start the Bengals dynasty.

What you don’t want to see: A large number of Cincinnati fans will be going to SF for the game on Saturday. On Friday night, they will probably be looking for bars and a night out on the town:


Matchup of mullets: QB Carson Palmer vs. S Dashon Goldson



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It was a fun game. Rainy, cold and a win.

Earlier in the week I made a promise that I would tailgate until I felt like this game mattered. If you look at the photos you will see I kept my promise.

I didn't like the Boo's. Rudi Johnson has to run the ball this season, we need to see if he can get back to form or if we need to make other options. He did close out the game well.

I don't understand what is going on with Carson Palmer. In his post game he stated that the D was showing him different looks and he was getting confused in the coverage. After 5 years in the league, that statement does not sit well with me.

I did like De De. He is a an exciting player to watch.

Who Dey.


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At this point in the season, it’s hard not to give up. That’s speaking as a fan, I can’t imagine how disappointed the players and coaching staff must feel. But there is still a chance to go 8-8, and at this point, I’ll take it. I hope the team feels the same way, because I’m flying into town this weekend to go to the game.

Hey, against the 3-9 Rams, I may just see a win.

This season there’s been a lot of talk about selfishness on the team. And I’d imagine that most people have assumed that when Marvin and other Bengals talk about that, they’re referring to Chad Johnson, and maybe T.J. Houshmandzadeh. They’re both outspoken with the media, which means they must have a me-first attitude.

I won’t disagree with that, mainly because I don’t know. But I’ve found that any time you read a Bengals report from someone in the national media (ESPN or CNNsi especially), you get an impression a reporter has gotten from observing this team from very far away. Rarely do you get actual information gleaned from observing the team from a closer distance than, say, a fan with no credentials but a voracious appetite for all the Bengals information he or she can get.

That’s how you get the rumors that Chris Mortensen created about trading Chad. It was purely his speculation, he didn’t even stop to consider the cap implications of such a move.

Those last two paragraphs are a bit of a rant, I didn’t set out to complain about how superficially the national media covers this team. I suspect that’s true of most teams. http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

What I really wanted to mention was yesterday’s story on Bengals.com, which really is the opposite of the national media and gives amazing insights into the team, 53 deep. It’s an interview with Justin Smith, and he talks about how the defense had to change its approach earlier this season and forget about individual stats.

This is the first time this season I’ve heard anyone implicated besides Chad or T.J. with this ubiquitous charge of “selfishness.”

Money passage:

He (Smith) has enjoyed this mini monthly defensive renaissance after a cards-on-the-table October meeting with the defensive players and coaches because he believes it shows what happens when selfishness can be stowed.

"Everybody was worried. 'We need to get our picks, we need to get our sacks,' linebackers want to have 100 some tackles," Smith said.

"When it got to the point, 'Hey, we're not a good defense right now, we've got tons of guys injured, we have guys coming off other teams that don't know our defense, we need to worry about just being a defense.' And I think we've tried to take all the selfishness out and it's helped us. We're happy when the other guy makes a play."

Smith suggested Monday to a group of reporters that the Bengals are still grappling with coming together as a team. Later he elaborated when he talked about knowing several players on the undefeated Patriots.

"It won't be a good team until our main focus is a 'W,'' not if you play well," Smith said. "Just being honest, if guys have great games and we lose, they're happy. If we win and they have a bad game, they're mad. We're not going to be a good team until offense, defense, special teams, are not happy unless the only thing that happens is to win and we're not there yet."

Of course, everyone would like to be the Patriots. And to many fans, Smith doesn’t have the greatest reputation. We’ve wanted him to be more than he is. But it seems, at least, that he’s become a leader for the defense and this team. And he helped remove some of the selfishness in the locker roon. Which is definitely something the team needs.

Some people would say that it’s a good thing he’ll probably be gone next season, but maybe we’d be better off holding onto him. What do you think?


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Week 13 – Rams
Analysis of last week’s Steelers game:










WHO CARES? Everything about the Bengals sucked on Sunday, offense, defense, special teams, preparation, play calling, consistency and Gingerballs. The most glaring point of the game is that our boy Soul Patch just hates to make things easy. He must have hated Kindergarten and counting to ten, it’s just too easy and makes too much sense. Where is the challenge in that? Counting the base 1 to 10 logarithm of the number 69 would prove a lot more to his Kindergarten teacher. In the rain on a muddy field, the Steelers seemed to realize that short one cut passing routes were the way to go. Cuts are hard to make when playing on manure, so the receivers would run a quick slant and the QB would hit them right away knowing the DB could not have a quick reaction. Why did the Bengals not do this? Granted, there is a huge difference between the Steelers defense and the Bengals defense, but still Soul Patch did not think to change the game plan. The Bengals kept running long developing pass routes that required sharp downfield cuts. It was obvious to everyone watching the game that Palmer could not hit these routes on Sunday. Granted we are lay people, and Soul Patch has many years in the NFL, but the Steelers have used this strategy for 2 straight weeks in the mud. Up until the last 2 weeks, Big Ben was completing 67% of his passes with 8.3 yards per attempt. In the last 2 mud bowls, Big Ben completed 74% of his passes for 6.4 yards per attempt. It’s very rare for completion percentage to go up while yards per attempt goes down considering an incomplete pass registers 0 yards. So what is going on here? The Steelers scaled back all of their routes to short, one cut, completable passes. The clear evidence lies in the Steelers yards per catch, before the mud it was 12.7 per catch, in the mud, 8.7. Soul Patch continuously out-thinks himself in an effort to prove he is a new age Offensive Coordinator in the mold of Peter Gabriel or Yanni. He is not helped by the Bengals lack of running game, but sometimes simple works, so let’s stick with it.
Soul Patch and Peter Gabriel, separated at birth?

Keys to the Game.
Here we go, the Bengals final four games are against the Rams, 49ers, Browns and Dolphins. These are four easily winnable games with the Rams, 49ers and Dolphins currently having 6 wins combined. The Bengals might end up 8-8 for the 4th time in the last 5 years, and continue the era of mediocrity. But the recent middle-of-the-road Bengals usually finish with a late season collapse, and the old loser Bengals would finish by beating other teams with no reason left to play. If the Bengals finish with a 4 game win streak, I will not consider it progress, but instead a return to the old ways in the “wait ‘til next year” era of the 90s. I personally think the strong finishes in the 90s occurred because nobody in the organization cared, and the players would play hard the last few weeks trying to secure a paycheck for the next season. This year, a 6-10 finish would make me happy because the Bengals would finish playing as crappy as they have all season. 6-10 would also grant a high draft pick, but not too high that the pick would break the bank. 6-10 also should be good enough for last in the division which would give the Bengals the easiest schedule next season. As long as the Bengals beat the Browns and are not the only team to lose to the Dolphins, I will be happy. The Rams are 3-9, but have won 3 of their last 4 games.

When the Rams have the ball: The once “Greatest show on turf” should be renamed the greatest show with NERF. The Rams top offensive players, Bulger, Jackson, Holt, Bruce, and Pace have missed a combined 24 games this season, not including games where they played significantly reduced roles. Unfortunately for the Bengals, all except Orlando Pace are expected to play this Sunday. Marc Bulger missed last week due to a concussion, but is expected to throw for 400 yards on Sunday. The Rams offense has been their weakness this season, even though their defense only clocks in as average. However, during the last 5 games, the Rams offense has averaged 336 yards per game, which would put them 12th in the NFL. They should be a good challenge for the Bengals supposedly revamped defense. While the Bengals defense has put together 4 straight games of not making me vomit into my shirt, I still do not buy that they have turned the corner. Stopping a healthy Rams offense would be a big step in making me believe the defense may not be a total liability next season.

When the Bengals have the ball: The Bengals offense is apparently tired of carrying the team. They figured that the defense gets paid when they don’t show up, so now it’s our turn to not show up. Taken by itself, the game in Pittsburgh could be written off to a bad night on a crappy field. But looking back to the last 5 games, you first have Buffalo – a game where the Bengals had the lead until 6 minutes left in the game, yet they only ran the ball 13 times for 22 yards. Then you have the Baltimore game in which the Bengals could chip their way down field against a depleted Ravens secondary until they reached the 20, and couldn’t proceed any further. Next up is the Cardinals game, Carson’s career worst 4 INTs, and the Bengals line being destroyed by the Cards front 4. The Titans game, where the Bengals offense dominated, is now the exception and not the rule. And of course, the embarrassment in Pittsburgh. The Bengals offense has consistently regressed this season, and there are a few major themes to be addressed. The Bengals cannot run the ball. It is a combination of the backs, poor blocking, and play calling, but the Bengals cannot do anything once they are inside the 20 yard line. Again against the Steelers, Eric Ghiacuic was destroyed in the middle and the pocket pushed back into Palmer. This poor blocking and play calling has seeped into the passing game, killing the balance, and Palmer’s completion percentage. The more options the Bengals have, and actually use, the more the defense has to back off. Instead, the Bengals cannot run and seem to drop Carson to the same spot on every play. Defenses key their game plans to get to the same drop point on every play, regardless of what the Bengals are doing. If the Bengals continue to be one dimensional, look for Palmer’s completion percentage to continue to plummet and for him to take hits until he turns into David Klingler.

What you do want to see: There is a chance that Bulger may not play Sunday and we could see the Jungle return of Gus Frerotte.
What you don’t want to see: Snow on the ground. If so, I might be tempted to throw a snowball at Mike Brown's luxury box. If he could figure out where it came from, I might lose my season tickets.

Matchup of mullets: TJ vs. CB Fakhir Brown

We have yet to find a good picture of Carson's burgeoning mullet. It's probably too late to help this season, but if he keeps it, look for Carson to throw 60 TDs next season. Meanwhile, TJ will dominate the matchup of mullet speed again this Sunday. BENGALS WIN



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This is an epidemic. The nasty disease that has spread around the Cincinnati Bengals has now taken hold of everyone. No one on the field is competing.

I feel our coaches are incompetent. Why if a running back is struggling so bad do you not make a change? What kind of game plan does not allow room to adjust.

Our Defense is incompetent. On one drive last night I swear they through six straight slants to Hines Ward. We never adjusted or bumped him at the line. I am glad we can be a part of his record setting night.

Our offense is incompetent. Our Pro Bowl QB was 17 of 44. Disgusting. A lot of his passes were so bad they were not even interceptable. He was overthrowing by 20 yds.

Our kicker is slowly becoming a terrible kicker. It is not good when you can count on one miss a game.

This weeks tailgate should be fun, I will "Tailgate" myself into thinking this game still matters.

WhoDey.


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