Redemption for me...
Friday, November 16, 2007
A few years ago I decided to make the trip to Arizona to see the Bengals play the Cardinals in Phoenix. I had a good friend going to Arizona State grad school at the time and I thought it would be nice to "kill two birds with one stone" (pun intended).
This was before the state of the art stadium the Cardinals play in now. They shared the ASU field at that time and the fans could have cared less. We bought our tickets to the game for like 5 dollars from some boy scout scalping tickets. 5 dollars for an NFL game.
The tailgate, non-existent. We hung out at some bar and grill before the game.
The Cardinals were terrible, even their own fans knew it. When buying a beer from one of the stadium vendors she actually told me she was sure the Bengals were going to win because the Cardinals always lose.
And then... Jon Kitna gave the game away. I had to listen to hundreds, no wait, tens of fans give me crap about how bad the Bengals are.
This is where redemption comes in for me. The same friend I went to visit then, is in town this weekend to see the Bengals Vs. Cardinals. I however will show him what a real tailgate is and how real fans show up.
My prediction this time? Bengals 35 Cards 16.
Who Dey.
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This was before the state of the art stadium the Cardinals play in now. They shared the ASU field at that time and the fans could have cared less. We bought our tickets to the game for like 5 dollars from some boy scout scalping tickets. 5 dollars for an NFL game.
The tailgate, non-existent. We hung out at some bar and grill before the game.
The Cardinals were terrible, even their own fans knew it. When buying a beer from one of the stadium vendors she actually told me she was sure the Bengals were going to win because the Cardinals always lose.
And then... Jon Kitna gave the game away. I had to listen to hundreds, no wait, tens of fans give me crap about how bad the Bengals are.
This is where redemption comes in for me. The same friend I went to visit then, is in town this weekend to see the Bengals Vs. Cardinals. I however will show him what a real tailgate is and how real fans show up.
My prediction this time? Bengals 35 Cards 16.
Who Dey.
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Keys To The Game
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Week 11 – Cardinals
In a contest that set the game of football back 25 years, the Bengals beat the Ravens 21-7 on Sunday. Immediately following the game, the Pentagon called the NFL for the game film so they could send a copy down to Camp X-Ray for use on the Prisoners. However, watching that game would break the Eighth Amendment to the Constitution prohibiting cruel and unusual punishment. Lucky for the Al Qaeda crew, W and his boys do not believe Camp X-Ray falls under the jurisdiction of the US Constitution or the U.N. Convention Against Torture and Cruel, Inhuman and Degrading Treatments (UNCAT), so they soon will get to enjoy watching Gingerballs kick his 7 field goals. Let’s recap the game in drive order; punt, punt, downs, downs, end of 1st quarter, field goal, punt, field goal, interception, half time, fumble, field goal, punt, end of 3rd quarter, field goal, fumble, field goal, fumble, field goal, fumble, field goal, interception, punt, touchdown, end of game. That recap was actually about 3 times as exciting as watching the game. The Bengals defense cannot really take anything away from that game as the Ravens offense has reached a level not seen in the NFL since the Akili Smith and Bruce Coslett Bengals. The defense did play solid and did not give the Ravens any chances through mental lapses or breakdowns. This game did show the glaring weaknesses of the Bengals running game. The Ravens front 7 might be the best in the NFL, but their DBs are beat up and weak. The Bengals could throw all day on the Ravens, but once the Bengals reached the red zone the short field took the free space away from the Bengals passing game. Even considering the strength of the Ravens front 7, the Bengals should have been able to punch one through for a TD. The Bengals do not have a short yardage running or receiving threat, they have one of the biggest lines in the NFL yet can’t push forward a few yards, and this is not a new issue. They couldn’t get the tough yards against the Chiefs, Steelers, Bills or Ravens, and this will be a continuing problem into next season. Rudi is clearly not the same back, Kenny Watson does his best work in the open field, and the Bengals do not trust their TEs as receivers. It will not matter this year, but the Bengals will need to find a solution if they hope to make the playoffs next season.
Finally, as much abuse as we gave Gingerballs early in the year, he has quietly turned into a dependable kicker this season. Years ago he was automatic, but recently his kickoffs and field goal attempts became erratic. Since his ridiculous kickoff out of bounds that set up the Seahawks game winning drive, Graham has been fairly reliable. His kickoffs are still an issue and have been getting shorter lately, and he has yet to be tested with a pressure field goal, so we will withhold official praise a few more weeks.
Keys to the Game.
Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. DE Joe Tafoya
Battle of old men: DE Bryan Robinson(33) vs Kurt Warner(36)
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs This Crew
Now imagine they kept making sequels for 40 more years, Eugene Levy is the Bill Bidwell of bad comedy.
Bonus Fact: The Cardinals play in recently opened University of Phoenix Stadium. The University of Phoenix is a for profit university set up for online adult education. It has a small physical campus in Phoenix mainly used as administrative offices. The university does not organize any extra curricular student activities whatsoever, clubs, publications, and most certainly not intercollegiate athletics. So the university agreed to pay $154.5 million for the 20-year naming rights to the stadium as a “corporate sponsor” with no intentions of using the stadium. For that money they could have built a campus and a football team of their own, but I guess naming a stadium is prime ad space. And who was University of Phoenix’s main bidding competition in naming the stadium? A southwestern Mexican restaurant chain named the Pink Taco. The owners of Pink Taco offered $30 million for 5 years of naming rights for the stadium. The Cardinals rejected the offer as a publicity stunt, but the Pink Taco people offered a $5 million ‘good faith’ check to show they were serious and offered to allow the Cards to use an alternative name as long as there was sufficient Pink Taco advertising in the stadium. Let’s see, Pink Taco Stadium or name the stadium for a school without a campus or athletic team? Only in America.
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In a contest that set the game of football back 25 years, the Bengals beat the Ravens 21-7 on Sunday. Immediately following the game, the Pentagon called the NFL for the game film so they could send a copy down to Camp X-Ray for use on the Prisoners. However, watching that game would break the Eighth Amendment to the Constitution prohibiting cruel and unusual punishment. Lucky for the Al Qaeda crew, W and his boys do not believe Camp X-Ray falls under the jurisdiction of the US Constitution or the U.N. Convention Against Torture and Cruel, Inhuman and Degrading Treatments (UNCAT), so they soon will get to enjoy watching Gingerballs kick his 7 field goals. Let’s recap the game in drive order; punt, punt, downs, downs, end of 1st quarter, field goal, punt, field goal, interception, half time, fumble, field goal, punt, end of 3rd quarter, field goal, fumble, field goal, fumble, field goal, fumble, field goal, interception, punt, touchdown, end of game. That recap was actually about 3 times as exciting as watching the game. The Bengals defense cannot really take anything away from that game as the Ravens offense has reached a level not seen in the NFL since the Akili Smith and Bruce Coslett Bengals. The defense did play solid and did not give the Ravens any chances through mental lapses or breakdowns. This game did show the glaring weaknesses of the Bengals running game. The Ravens front 7 might be the best in the NFL, but their DBs are beat up and weak. The Bengals could throw all day on the Ravens, but once the Bengals reached the red zone the short field took the free space away from the Bengals passing game. Even considering the strength of the Ravens front 7, the Bengals should have been able to punch one through for a TD. The Bengals do not have a short yardage running or receiving threat, they have one of the biggest lines in the NFL yet can’t push forward a few yards, and this is not a new issue. They couldn’t get the tough yards against the Chiefs, Steelers, Bills or Ravens, and this will be a continuing problem into next season. Rudi is clearly not the same back, Kenny Watson does his best work in the open field, and the Bengals do not trust their TEs as receivers. It will not matter this year, but the Bengals will need to find a solution if they hope to make the playoffs next season.
Finally, as much abuse as we gave Gingerballs early in the year, he has quietly turned into a dependable kicker this season. Years ago he was automatic, but recently his kickoffs and field goal attempts became erratic. Since his ridiculous kickoff out of bounds that set up the Seahawks game winning drive, Graham has been fairly reliable. His kickoffs are still an issue and have been getting shorter lately, and he has yet to be tested with a pressure field goal, so we will withhold official praise a few more weeks.
Keys to the Game.
This week Arizona comes to town as one of the most confusing teams in the NFL. The Cards are coming off a big win against Detroit, and also boast victories over the Steelers and Seahawks. On the other hand, Arizona lost to the 49ers, Ravens, and the Panthers in Vinny Testaverde’s first start in 3 years. The odds makers have the Bengals as 3.5 point favorites, but I have no idea how they determined that. This should be a fun game as the weather is supposed to be nice for November, it’s the weekend before Thanksgiving, it’s guaranteed to be a wild and unpredictable game, and nobody cares about the Cardinals meaning no bandwagon fans will show up. It will be a throw back party for the old school Bengals fans to enjoy.
When the Cardinals have the ball: The Cardinals offense is very similar to the Bengals, but not as successful. They have two Pro Bowl caliber receivers in Anquan Bolden and Larry Fitzgerald, they have a past his prime RB with a sub 4 yard per carry average, and they are totally unbalanced when it comes to passing vs running the football. The big difference is the consistency of the quarterback. The Cardinals have split time between Kurt Warner and Matt Leinart due to injury and coach’s decision. Rolled into one person these two would equal Carson Palmer, a grounded and successful professional (Warner) mixed in with a USC Heisman Trophy winning pedigree (Leinart). Instead, the Cards success comes in spurts and is not enough to lead them to success. If the Bengals defense could not stop Lee Evans or Marshawn Lynch, then the Cards will have success for most of the game. This could turn into another Bengals shootout which we have grown accustomed to seeing. The young Bengals CBs will get a nice test, and we’ll just have to hope that Warner doesn’t drink his Jesus Juice before the game.
When the Bengals have the ball: Surprisingly, the Cardinals defense has become a solid unit this season. Safety Adrian Wilson has established himself as a force, even though he has been playing hurt lately. He is the leader of a defense that has strengths at every level as this week may actually be a tougher test than the Ravens defense gave the Bengals last week. The Cardinals have a d-line that can get to the QB led by Darnell Docket and his 8 sacks, and they are followed by very active LBs led by Carlos Dansby. The DBs are strong in coverage and it will be very entertaining watching them matchup with Chad, TJ and Chris Henry. Soul Patch will have to be on his best behavior as the Cardinals do not have a glaring weakness like the defenses of the past few weeks. Hopefully the Bengals finally wise up to the fact that at this point in time, Kenny Watson is a better back than Rudi Johnson. If Rudi is still hurting, the Bengals need to work him back slowly, if not, it may be time to start phasing Rudi out of the offense. Only the Bengals staff knows the truth of the situation, and that decision is why they get paid the big bucks.
And just to see what the Bengals will be dealing with, here is an impressive video of safety Adrian Wilson clearing a 5’6” bar:
Obviously nobody in that weight room is a structural engineering major. Is that really the best they could build as a 5’6” bar test? They better hope for long careers in the NFL.
What you do want to see: Kurt Warner in one of his melt down games and Larry Fitzgerald play like someone who should be named Larry Fitzgerald.
What you don’t want to see: The Bengals defense to suddenly think they are good based on last week and take the day off like they did against the Browns after the last Ravens game. The Cards can score 51, but the Bengals will not score 45 this week.
When the Bengals have the ball: Surprisingly, the Cardinals defense has become a solid unit this season. Safety Adrian Wilson has established himself as a force, even though he has been playing hurt lately. He is the leader of a defense that has strengths at every level as this week may actually be a tougher test than the Ravens defense gave the Bengals last week. The Cardinals have a d-line that can get to the QB led by Darnell Docket and his 8 sacks, and they are followed by very active LBs led by Carlos Dansby. The DBs are strong in coverage and it will be very entertaining watching them matchup with Chad, TJ and Chris Henry. Soul Patch will have to be on his best behavior as the Cardinals do not have a glaring weakness like the defenses of the past few weeks. Hopefully the Bengals finally wise up to the fact that at this point in time, Kenny Watson is a better back than Rudi Johnson. If Rudi is still hurting, the Bengals need to work him back slowly, if not, it may be time to start phasing Rudi out of the offense. Only the Bengals staff knows the truth of the situation, and that decision is why they get paid the big bucks.
And just to see what the Bengals will be dealing with, here is an impressive video of safety Adrian Wilson clearing a 5’6” bar:
Obviously nobody in that weight room is a structural engineering major. Is that really the best they could build as a 5’6” bar test? They better hope for long careers in the NFL.
What you do want to see: Kurt Warner in one of his melt down games and Larry Fitzgerald play like someone who should be named Larry Fitzgerald.
What you don’t want to see: The Bengals defense to suddenly think they are good based on last week and take the day off like they did against the Browns after the last Ravens game. The Cards can score 51, but the Bengals will not score 45 this week.
Matchup of mullets: TJ vs Larry Fitzgerald
Mullets – check. Speed – check. Now that is out of the way, let’s get back to the name Larry Fitzgerald. The name is more fitting of an overweight lawyer on a billboard with a bunch of books behind him asking if you’ve had a DUI or been in a car accident. Probably with a moustache, but not a mullet.
The real Larry Fitzgerald. BENGALS WIN
Matchup of Moustaches: RB Kenny Watson vs Cardinal Coaches Russ Grimm, Maurice Carthon, and Ron Aiken
The real Larry Fitzgerald. BENGALS WINMatchup of Moustaches: RB Kenny Watson vs Cardinal Coaches Russ Grimm, Maurice Carthon, and Ron Aiken
The turnaround of the Cards franchise is easier to visualize once we see the coaches involved. Especially defensive line coach Ron Aiken bringing back the moustache that Hitler put out of style, he must be a true disciplinarian. The only problem is that the Cards missed the boat in making Russ Grimm their head coach instead of Offensive Line Coach. So the Cards still lack Super Bowl leadership. CARDS WIN
Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. DE Joe Tafoya
No, DE is not a misprint and does not stand for a front office position like Director of Education. Joe Tafoya is actually an NFL Defensive End, and more surprisingly is only 29 years old. Rowe is not scared in the least bit by Old Man River the Ageless Wonder. Rowe just says, “Joe who? Wait until I’m 29, then you’ll see something.” BENGALS WIN
Battle of old men: DE Bryan Robinson(33) vs Kurt Warner(36)
It’s hard to believe, but Kurt Warner is actually 2 years older than the walking ball of duct tape the Bengals faced last week, Steve McNair. I guess it throws everyone off because Warner did not make his first NFL start until age 28. It will be up to Bryan Robinson to make Kurt Warner look and feel his age. BENGALS WIN
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs This Crew
Seriously, there is almost nothing on the internet about the Cardinals, this is the best we have to work with. Some Richard Dreyfus looking dude in a safari hat with his nose painted like a bird beek, that’s it. Actually the guy on the right with a moustache and nose painted like a bird beek is a pretty kick ass look. That’s almost as funny as the Colerain and Louisville Cardinals logos whose "Intelligent Designers" decided to give birds teeth. Who will be the first team to field a bird mascot with teeth and a moustache? How could they ever lose?
T-shirts soon to be for sale in Bevis. BENGALS WIN
T-shirts soon to be for sale in Bevis. BENGALS WINCheerbabe Tussle: After the grand success of last week in removing the male cheerbiffs from the Ravens squad, this week is a massive failure. The Cardinals website has blocked visitors from copying pictures of the cheerbabes. Since when did cheerleading websites become more than leaders of cheer, but also leaders of internet security? Add to that the fact there is very little coverage of the Cardinals and their cheerbabes outside of the home website, we are out of luck. So this week, the Bengals dominate in a landslide victory. To celebrate, we can view pictures of Bengals cheerleaders dressed for success at charity functions.
Little known Cardinals fact: The Cardinals were one of the original members of the NFL when it was established in 1920. The Bidwell family bought the Cards in 1932 and current Cards CEO Bill Bidwell has been working in the front office with his family since 1960. During Bill Bidwell’s 47 year tenure, the Cardinals have finished above .500 11 times, making the playoffs 4 times. To put that in perspective, the Bengals, considered a perennial loser, have been around since 1968. In 39 seasons, the Bengals have also posted 11 winning seasons, made the playoffs 8 times, and have been to two Super Bowls. Imagine heading an organization for 47 years and only achieving a moderately successful year 8% of the time. It’s basically like the people who made the movie American Pie. The first movie was moderately funny and successful. Did you know they have now made 4 sequels to that movie? The only characters still left from the original are the dad still played by Eugene Levy, Stifler’s brother played by a new kid, and Sherman played by Shayne Graham.
Little known Cardinals fact: The Cardinals were one of the original members of the NFL when it was established in 1920. The Bidwell family bought the Cards in 1932 and current Cards CEO Bill Bidwell has been working in the front office with his family since 1960. During Bill Bidwell’s 47 year tenure, the Cardinals have finished above .500 11 times, making the playoffs 4 times. To put that in perspective, the Bengals, considered a perennial loser, have been around since 1968. In 39 seasons, the Bengals have also posted 11 winning seasons, made the playoffs 8 times, and have been to two Super Bowls. Imagine heading an organization for 47 years and only achieving a moderately successful year 8% of the time. It’s basically like the people who made the movie American Pie. The first movie was moderately funny and successful. Did you know they have now made 4 sequels to that movie? The only characters still left from the original are the dad still played by Eugene Levy, Stifler’s brother played by a new kid, and Sherman played by Shayne Graham.
Now imagine they kept making sequels for 40 more years, Eugene Levy is the Bill Bidwell of bad comedy.Bonus Fact: The Cardinals play in recently opened University of Phoenix Stadium. The University of Phoenix is a for profit university set up for online adult education. It has a small physical campus in Phoenix mainly used as administrative offices. The university does not organize any extra curricular student activities whatsoever, clubs, publications, and most certainly not intercollegiate athletics. So the university agreed to pay $154.5 million for the 20-year naming rights to the stadium as a “corporate sponsor” with no intentions of using the stadium. For that money they could have built a campus and a football team of their own, but I guess naming a stadium is prime ad space. And who was University of Phoenix’s main bidding competition in naming the stadium? A southwestern Mexican restaurant chain named the Pink Taco. The owners of Pink Taco offered $30 million for 5 years of naming rights for the stadium. The Cardinals rejected the offer as a publicity stunt, but the Pink Taco people offered a $5 million ‘good faith’ check to show they were serious and offered to allow the Cards to use an alternative name as long as there was sufficient Pink Taco advertising in the stadium. Let’s see, Pink Taco Stadium or name the stadium for a school without a campus or athletic team? Only in America.
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What I did and didn't like
Monday, November 12, 2007
Who Dey, this season dey are a lot of teams, except the Baltimore Ravens. In 2 games against them we handled them well. 12 total turnovers, if only we could play them every week.
<----- Hooray Marvin
What I Liked:
- Chris (don't you know who I am ) Henry has not missed a beat.
- Our defense created turnovers, while we routinely get gashed for huge chunks of yards, this D lives and dies by the turnover. When we get em, we win.
- Chinedum Ndukwe.
- Kenny Watson
What I Didn't like:
- Something has to be wrong with Rudi Johnson
- Can we get a TD in the Red Zone
- Ginger, way to blemish a big day by you in kicking it out of bounds, again.
Love blossoms, while the two teams fought hard and hated each other for sixty minutes, the cameras did catch this possible love affair.
Romeo and Juliet have nothing on them ---->
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