Keys To The Game
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Week 9 – Bills
Was that the most boring game in years? The Steelers scheme was so vanilla they could have put Graeter’s out of business, and yet the Bengals were never a serious threat. The Bengals did not force the Steelers to use any second options, whether it meant changing up their running game, or even forcing Roethlisberger to look for a second receiver. Big Ben completed 19 passes, and on at least 16 of them he only looked at one receiver. Meanwhile, the Bengals became panicked once the Steelers took the lead and never looked like they truly thought they could win. One series summed up the whole game, and that was right before half time. The Bengals had a 10 play 50 yard drive to the Steelers 2 yard line where they faced 4th and 1. Any normal professional team would have been ready for this situation, instead the flustered Bengals called time out with 2:20 left. Let’s see, you are on the opponents 2 yard line, will you need 2:20 to finish the drive? No. Whether you kick the field goal, go for it, call time out, pay for another fly over, or rush to beat the beer line, you do not need 2:20. So Marvin could have calmly let the clock run as far as he could and made his decision. After the Bengals called the frantic time out, they decided to trot out the field goal unit to a smattering of boos from the crowd. Then, following another long kickoff return to the Steelers 33, the Steelers marched down and scored a TD with 4 seconds left in the half. And to top that off, the Steelers first play of the drive was a draw to Willie Parker, usually a sign that you are not going to run the 2 minute drill looking for a score. However, the draw went for 32 yards to the Bengals 35. At that point the Steelers had to go for the score and had no trouble doing it. The Steelers were content to stick with the mere basics, and that was enough for an easy win.
Keys to the Game.
The Bills are a bad team, they have 3 wins and 2 of them have come against the hapless Jets. They have the 31st ranked offense in the NFL and the 30th ranked defense. Their defense is just barely better than the Bengals 31st stanked defense. With that being said, the Bengals were 2 point favorites but the line has dropped to 1 due to betting on the Bills. I have to agree with the betters that the Bengals have not proven themselves to be a consistent or dependable team so far this season, and Buffalo is still one of the toughest road games in the NFL. Perhaps the Bengals could get back on track with a win, but they have officially entered the no man’s land where fans are not sure if we want them to win. There are 6 “should win” games in the remaining 9, so the Bengals could put themselves in position for the playoffs. But chances are the Bengals are not going to fight their way into the playoffs, so winning now only disguises their weaknesses and worsens their draft picks. Every year there are teams that finish on a winning streak that do not make the playoffs, and the team thinks they are primed for the next season(Rams 2006, Dolphins 2005, Bengals all 90s). They forget why they lost 8 or 9 games and that they need major changes in order to improve. Instead they think the streak will continue into the next season and the same problems that doomed previous seasons arise again. Win or lose, this Bengals team needs major changes in order to become a top tier team in the NFL. The only real bonus to this game is that it is the last game without Chris Henry, so some real entertainment should return next week.
When the Bills have the ball: The Bengals defense needs to be completely blown up from top to bottom. The coaching is awful and there are no more excuses to be made. First it was the LB injuries, then the run fits, then the Dline broke down, and against the Steelers it was the DBs turn to blow the game. A poorly coached team has different breakdowns each weak, while a team with injuries or bad players will continue to have breakdowns in the same area. The Dline and LBs played a fairly decent game this week against the Steelers, it was the DBs that allowed the back breaking plays this time. The Roethlisberger heave up for grabs that turned into a 40 yard completion, Hines Ward given a 10 yard cushion, Willie Parker getting to the outside on numerous big runs, and Heath Miller’s 23 yard run after a quick hitter all fall on the DBs. Again, Dexter Jackson made sure everyone knew he wasn’t happy with the people around him. It would be nice if he acted that way when he gets beat by a TE, or when he misses a tackle on a RB bounced out to him. Other than a handful of players: Geathers, Landon Johnson, Peko, the rookies, maybe Ahmad Brooks and Jonathan Joseph, everyone else needs to go, coaches included. When a simple junior high style offense makes you look that bad, everyone’s job should be on the line. The most exciting part about the Bengals defense is watching the different ways they can breakdown each week. I think this week it will be the line’s turn again.
When the Bengals have the ball: While the Bengals offense is not playing at their top level, they are not the reason the Bengals are losing. The offense scored on 3 of 6 drives on Sunday, with one of the failed drives being Kenny Watson’s questionable fumble in the redzone. Scoring on 50% of your drives will usually win games, unless your defense let’s the other team control the clock and score on 4 of 6 drives(Not including the Steelers 7th drive kneeling out the clock). Getting six possessions is very low for an NFL game, but happens when teams successfully run the football and the clock. Against the Jets, the Bengals scored on 5 of 9 possessions which gave them 31 offensive points. Going from playing the #1 defense in the NFL to the 30th defense of the Bills, the Bengals should do fine if they keep their current scoring ratio.
The bad news is it looks like Chad Johnson could become a problem. Since his arrival in Cincinnati, Chad has always been the same player; exceptional athlete able to beat defenders, but not sharp enough to be dependable when the Bengals need him. When things are going well, Chad is free to use his athleticism, everyone loves him and he is the star. But when times are tough, Chad disappears and the team depends on TJ/Chris Henry/Peter Warrick/etc. That has been the case for multiple seasons and it has worked for the Bengals offense. What has changed this season are the rumors about Chad being traded and his actions on the field. Chances are the trade rumors did not come from the Bengals, but from Chad’s agent Drew Rosenhaus who has not been happy with Chad’s contract for years. Chad has received some bad press lately, and its looking more and more like Rosenhaus is going to angle for a way to get Chad off the Bengals. In Sunday’s game, Chad looked uninterested in the game on multiple occasions. On some run plays, Chad was not even looking at the play or lined up in any way resembling a football player. He seemed distracted, dropped a key 3rd down pass, and it looked like he dropped the 4th down pass that was reviewed by the Steelers(The refs did not seem notice clear evidence to overturn multiple challenges on Sunday). Let’s hope this is just a bad game resulting from the pressure of being in a bad run, but if Rosenhaus has his way, the bad times will continue until Chad can be shipped out and negotiate a new contract. Rosenhaus excels at using team press to build a case and get his players new contracts, whether it be positive extensions, or negative cuts/trades. The Bengals need wins and Chad needs to score a few times for order to be restored before the team killing agent has his way. NEXT QUESTION!!
What you do want to see: Chad score and do a TD dance that involves an OJ Simpson or a Buffalo Bill theme.
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs Mark Miller
Trashiest looking cheerbabe: Rhonee vs Stefanie of the “Buffalo Jills”
All of these answers are not from Stefanie, but most of them are so I will go with it.
Personal Motto: Keep your face in the sunshine and you will never see the shadows.
If I could change something about myself: My hair would be way longer!!
Head of Player Security and Background Checks.
Head Talent Evaluator -- Sammy Davis Jr. is actually deceased, but our girl Stefanie will channel his energy.
Quarterbacks Coach and Offensive Dictator
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Was that the most boring game in years? The Steelers scheme was so vanilla they could have put Graeter’s out of business, and yet the Bengals were never a serious threat. The Bengals did not force the Steelers to use any second options, whether it meant changing up their running game, or even forcing Roethlisberger to look for a second receiver. Big Ben completed 19 passes, and on at least 16 of them he only looked at one receiver. Meanwhile, the Bengals became panicked once the Steelers took the lead and never looked like they truly thought they could win. One series summed up the whole game, and that was right before half time. The Bengals had a 10 play 50 yard drive to the Steelers 2 yard line where they faced 4th and 1. Any normal professional team would have been ready for this situation, instead the flustered Bengals called time out with 2:20 left. Let’s see, you are on the opponents 2 yard line, will you need 2:20 to finish the drive? No. Whether you kick the field goal, go for it, call time out, pay for another fly over, or rush to beat the beer line, you do not need 2:20. So Marvin could have calmly let the clock run as far as he could and made his decision. After the Bengals called the frantic time out, they decided to trot out the field goal unit to a smattering of boos from the crowd. Then, following another long kickoff return to the Steelers 33, the Steelers marched down and scored a TD with 4 seconds left in the half. And to top that off, the Steelers first play of the drive was a draw to Willie Parker, usually a sign that you are not going to run the 2 minute drill looking for a score. However, the draw went for 32 yards to the Bengals 35. At that point the Steelers had to go for the score and had no trouble doing it. The Steelers were content to stick with the mere basics, and that was enough for an easy win.
Keys to the Game.
The Bills are a bad team, they have 3 wins and 2 of them have come against the hapless Jets. They have the 31st ranked offense in the NFL and the 30th ranked defense. Their defense is just barely better than the Bengals 31st stanked defense. With that being said, the Bengals were 2 point favorites but the line has dropped to 1 due to betting on the Bills. I have to agree with the betters that the Bengals have not proven themselves to be a consistent or dependable team so far this season, and Buffalo is still one of the toughest road games in the NFL. Perhaps the Bengals could get back on track with a win, but they have officially entered the no man’s land where fans are not sure if we want them to win. There are 6 “should win” games in the remaining 9, so the Bengals could put themselves in position for the playoffs. But chances are the Bengals are not going to fight their way into the playoffs, so winning now only disguises their weaknesses and worsens their draft picks. Every year there are teams that finish on a winning streak that do not make the playoffs, and the team thinks they are primed for the next season(Rams 2006, Dolphins 2005, Bengals all 90s). They forget why they lost 8 or 9 games and that they need major changes in order to improve. Instead they think the streak will continue into the next season and the same problems that doomed previous seasons arise again. Win or lose, this Bengals team needs major changes in order to become a top tier team in the NFL. The only real bonus to this game is that it is the last game without Chris Henry, so some real entertainment should return next week.
When the Bills have the ball: The Bengals defense needs to be completely blown up from top to bottom. The coaching is awful and there are no more excuses to be made. First it was the LB injuries, then the run fits, then the Dline broke down, and against the Steelers it was the DBs turn to blow the game. A poorly coached team has different breakdowns each weak, while a team with injuries or bad players will continue to have breakdowns in the same area. The Dline and LBs played a fairly decent game this week against the Steelers, it was the DBs that allowed the back breaking plays this time. The Roethlisberger heave up for grabs that turned into a 40 yard completion, Hines Ward given a 10 yard cushion, Willie Parker getting to the outside on numerous big runs, and Heath Miller’s 23 yard run after a quick hitter all fall on the DBs. Again, Dexter Jackson made sure everyone knew he wasn’t happy with the people around him. It would be nice if he acted that way when he gets beat by a TE, or when he misses a tackle on a RB bounced out to him. Other than a handful of players: Geathers, Landon Johnson, Peko, the rookies, maybe Ahmad Brooks and Jonathan Joseph, everyone else needs to go, coaches included. When a simple junior high style offense makes you look that bad, everyone’s job should be on the line. The most exciting part about the Bengals defense is watching the different ways they can breakdown each week. I think this week it will be the line’s turn again.
When the Bengals have the ball: While the Bengals offense is not playing at their top level, they are not the reason the Bengals are losing. The offense scored on 3 of 6 drives on Sunday, with one of the failed drives being Kenny Watson’s questionable fumble in the redzone. Scoring on 50% of your drives will usually win games, unless your defense let’s the other team control the clock and score on 4 of 6 drives(Not including the Steelers 7th drive kneeling out the clock). Getting six possessions is very low for an NFL game, but happens when teams successfully run the football and the clock. Against the Jets, the Bengals scored on 5 of 9 possessions which gave them 31 offensive points. Going from playing the #1 defense in the NFL to the 30th defense of the Bills, the Bengals should do fine if they keep their current scoring ratio.
The bad news is it looks like Chad Johnson could become a problem. Since his arrival in Cincinnati, Chad has always been the same player; exceptional athlete able to beat defenders, but not sharp enough to be dependable when the Bengals need him. When things are going well, Chad is free to use his athleticism, everyone loves him and he is the star. But when times are tough, Chad disappears and the team depends on TJ/Chris Henry/Peter Warrick/etc. That has been the case for multiple seasons and it has worked for the Bengals offense. What has changed this season are the rumors about Chad being traded and his actions on the field. Chances are the trade rumors did not come from the Bengals, but from Chad’s agent Drew Rosenhaus who has not been happy with Chad’s contract for years. Chad has received some bad press lately, and its looking more and more like Rosenhaus is going to angle for a way to get Chad off the Bengals. In Sunday’s game, Chad looked uninterested in the game on multiple occasions. On some run plays, Chad was not even looking at the play or lined up in any way resembling a football player. He seemed distracted, dropped a key 3rd down pass, and it looked like he dropped the 4th down pass that was reviewed by the Steelers(The refs did not seem notice clear evidence to overturn multiple challenges on Sunday). Let’s hope this is just a bad game resulting from the pressure of being in a bad run, but if Rosenhaus has his way, the bad times will continue until Chad can be shipped out and negotiate a new contract. Rosenhaus excels at using team press to build a case and get his players new contracts, whether it be positive extensions, or negative cuts/trades. The Bengals need wins and Chad needs to score a few times for order to be restored before the team killing agent has his way. NEXT QUESTION!!
What you do want to see: Chad score and do a TD dance that involves an OJ Simpson or a Buffalo Bill theme.
What you don’t want to see: Winds strong enough to knock out the Bengals passing game. It has happened in the past in Buffalo and would leave the Bengals relying on the 21st ranked run offense, 31st ranked defense, and Ginger Graham. Buffalo is in the top 5 on most special teams.
Matchup of mullets: TJ vs DE Anthony Hargrove
Hargrove does not have a mullet, but the Bills did not have much to work with. It is impressive for a grown man to have a haircut that should be reserved for a 6 year old girl. All Hargrove’s cute twisty braids are missing are colorful clips that reflect his mood or have his favorite cartoon character. BENGALS WIN
Matchup of Moustaches: RB Kenny Watson vs DB Donte Whitner
Matchup of Moustaches: RB Kenny Watson vs DB Donte Whitner
Whitner obviously knows what it takes to be a champion. He is from Cleveland Glenville High School, played in the US Army Bowl in high school, played for Ohio State, but left early to become a top 10 draft pick. Had Whitner stayed in school, he would have been the safety for the Buckeyes in their National Championship Game loss to Florida last season. It goes without saying that had Whitner and his moustache been on the field last January, Ohio State wins that game by 73. BILLS WIN
Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. RB Marshawn Lynch
Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. RB Marshawn Lynch
Both players this week are rookies bringing their ‘A’ game to the NFL. Lynch gets extra points for having one of the best post game celebrations in college football history. He has just enough this week to top Jeff Rowe:
Too bad golf carts do not idle so that Marshawn could Ghostride Da Whip!!! BILLS WIN
Bonus Feature: The Bills also have OG Brad Butler who looks like a fat Carson Palmer.
Battle of old men: DE Bryan Robinson(33) vs TE/FB Ryan Neufeld(31)
Too bad golf carts do not idle so that Marshawn could Ghostride Da Whip!!! BILLS WIN
Bonus Feature: The Bills also have OG Brad Butler who looks like a fat Carson Palmer.
Battle of old men: DE Bryan Robinson(33) vs TE/FB Ryan Neufeld(31)
Neufeld is in his 7th season in the NFL. In his career, he has 1 rush for 14 yards, and 13 catches for 129 yards and 1TD. He is the definition of a pure blocker and special teams player. Being that he is the oldest player on the team shows the youth movement going on in Buffalo. Not counting kickers, Buffalo has 13 players born before 1980 on their roster. Neufeld, more like Oldfeld..LOL!! LOL!!! BENGALS WIN
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs Mark Miller
Upon further review, Mark Miller is not a loser, he is awesome. I wish I was going to this game in Buffalo just so I could tailgate with Mark Miller. And what is Gary's problem in asking stupid questions to our man Mark? Landslide victory for the Stormtrooper and Darth Chinstrap as biggest loser fans. BENGALS WIN
Trashiest looking cheerbabe: Rhonee vs Stefanie of the “Buffalo Jills”
All of these answers are not from Stefanie, but most of them are so I will go with it.
Personal Motto: Keep your face in the sunshine and you will never see the shadows.
Actually, you won't see anything because your retinas will be torched.
Most prized possession: Not sure?
Not sure what? That you have a favorite? That you have possessions? That you believe in possessions? That you understand the question? That you know where you are? Notice, the answer "not sure?" is a question and not a statement. Maybe her question is meant to spark an existential debate.
If I could change something about myself: My hair would be way longer!!
Man I hope she can make those difficult changes in her life.
Best advice I ever received: Don’t make faces because it will stay like that.
Are you sure? I thought the advice went: Don't make feces on yourself.
I'm proud to be: Where I am today!
I'm proud to be: Where I am today!
How deep? Wasn't it Descartes that said, "Cogito, ergo sum" -- I think therefore I am?
Personal Motto: "Live life as if it's your last with NO REGRETS"
Wow, she is deep. She is into multiple dimensions of beings and realities. But she is motivated to live THIS life as if its her last. I too would pick the life where I am a cheerleader to live as my last.
Something I always wanted to learn:How to fly a plane.
Please let me know when that happens so I can live in a bunker.
Little known Bills fact: The combined age of the Bills owner Ralph Wilson (89), General Manager Marv Levy(82), and Head Coach Dick Jauron(57) is 228. To put that in perspective, Bengals senile owner Mike Brown is 70 years old; Multiply that by 3 and get 210. It’s no mystery why the Bills go toe-to-toe with the Bengals, Texans, Dolphins, Raiders, and Saints for worst run franchise in the NFL. I am not advocating age-ism, euthanasia, or even the abolishment of early bird specials, but when a game is now dominated by younger players, it helps to have personnel people that weren’t already collecting Social Security when current players were born. The Bills roster has 48 players born post-1980, and the guy managing the personnel was born in 1925, the same year as actor Jack Lemmon. Jack Lemmon, by the way, starred in the movie Grumpy Old Men 15 years ago. Levy is also older than Angela Lansbury of Murder She Wrote fame, Sammy Davis Jr., and Fidel Castro.
Bills new front office:
Bills new front office:
Head of Player Security and Background Checks.
Head Talent Evaluator -- Sammy Davis Jr. is actually deceased, but our girl Stefanie will channel his energy.
Quarterbacks Coach and Offensive Dictator
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What I did and didn't like
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
"Fire Marvin Lewis." That is what I am hearing the most on the radio and in some chat rooms. What people don't seem to understand is that if you fire a coach mid season you have given up. I for one have not given up. I remember the 2 and 14 years. Marvin Lewis has yet to have a losing season. Lets not forget he has turned this team around. Years ago we were screaming for 8 and 8 and now if that is our record, we are very disappointed.
So slow your roll, sit back, we should have a winnable game this week against the Bills and then we get a huge weapon back in Chris Henry and possibly Chris Perry. Our defense might still stink but we will be tough to outscore.
Here is what I didn't like:
-Bengals fans selling their tickets.
-All the Boo's.
-Leon Hall and his coverage
-Deltha celebrating like we won the game when Ben threw the pick.
-The crazy guy with crazy teeth sitting behind me:
-Marvin Lewis chicken call on 4th and 1 (if you have no confidence in the offense, do you really think the D can stop anyone)
and this line:
"You know what I hate the most about Steeler week? All the lines at the Golden Corral are huge."
Pictures are up here
Go Bengals
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So slow your roll, sit back, we should have a winnable game this week against the Bills and then we get a huge weapon back in Chris Henry and possibly Chris Perry. Our defense might still stink but we will be tough to outscore.
Here is what I didn't like:
-Bengals fans selling their tickets.
-All the Boo's.
-Leon Hall and his coverage
-Deltha celebrating like we won the game when Ben threw the pick.
-The crazy guy with crazy teeth sitting behind me:
-Marvin Lewis chicken call on 4th and 1 (if you have no confidence in the offense, do you really think the D can stop anyone)and this line:
"You know what I hate the most about Steeler week? All the lines at the Golden Corral are huge."
Pictures are up here
Go Bengals
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Steel Cage Questions with Pittsburgh
Friday, October 26, 2007
Leave it to Steelers fans to say they are going to answer some questions and then totally cut us down by the knees. Luckily, I was prepared for just such a “Kimo type” occasion and took the liberty of answering for them. If Behindthesteelcurtain ever replies, I’ll post their answers. Here is what I think they will say:
What scares you about the Bengals?
Steel Curtain: The fans. The Jungle is rocking when the Steelers come to town and it scares me worse than a whole flock of beat-down nasty Pittsburgh women. It is scary to think how flustered Ben will get when Cincinnati brings the noise.
What scares us about the Steelers?
Comer Kai: Dick’s system. No matter how much the Bengals practice, 30% of the snaps will feature defensive match-ups the Cincy offense has never seen before. They get the question mark of how do we attack this? Can we adjust? They defeated a 3-4 team last week in the Jets, which is a good sign, but the Steelers are a different beast. To beat Dick, you have to match-up against the scheme. Last week the Bengals didn’t face a nose guard like Casey Hampton or a safety like Polamalu.
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What makes us feel confident in the Steelers?
Steel Curtain: Nothing. We’re terrified.
What makes us feel confident in the Bengals?
Comer Kai: Carson Palmer. The Steelers defense has been solid, but they haven’t really been tested by a high powered offense yet. Browns, Bills, 49ers, Cards, Hawks and Broncos. Provided Carson gets a little time, and no one crawls forward and blasts his knee, he has the arm and the head to get the ball to receivers that are better than the Burgh’s corners. Carson will have his eye on Polamalu and will throw wherever he is not, forcing Ike Taylor and Deshea Townsend to make the play.
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Who is the best (current) player Bengals fans never heard of?
Steel Curtain: As most Steelers fans. I am fairly fair weather. I know we have Big Ben, Hines Ward and Jerome Bettis. We call him, “The Bus.”
Watch out. He's real good.
Who is the best (current) player Steelers fans never heard of?
Comer Kai: No one knows fullbacks and the only reason his name may look familiar is because he shares the same last name as Chad, Landon and Rudi. Jeremy Johnson has been a solid player since coming out of Western Kentucky in 2003. But last week he was an absolute force. The whole game he was blasting through the line and moving linebackers, clearing the way for Watson’s three touchdowns. He will be a pivotal player Sunday; unlike when Rudi is running in a straight line behind him, Steelers will have to guess which side of his 260 pound body Kenny Watson will cut from.
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Who wins and what is the score?
Steel Curtain: Bengals win in a landslide. Ben cries in post-game press conference.
Comer Kai: It’s all about offense in Cincinnati and the Bengals finally remembered how to score. Sure it was against the Jets, but scoring is scoring, and winning is contagious. Keeping the offense on the field makes our defense more successful and forces Ben to throw the ball to catch up. I see the Bengals pushing to score touchdowns and winning with their backs against the wall. 31-27.
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If there was a steel cage match instead of a football game featuring one current player, who do you nominate?
Steel Curtain: Jeff Reed He’s gonna bring the leg. And his frosted tips… bitch.
Comer Kai: Justin Smith. You do not want to enter the steel cage with J. Smith. He has an Anheuser Busch Tattoo on his arm and he wants to tattoo it into your forehead. Look up “big country hillbilly who would love to stab you with beer bottle.” and you’ll see J. Smith. Put him in a steel cage and he’ll drop into a 4-point stance and come at you with a motor that never quits. Two men enter, one man leaves pointing to the Anheuser tattoo on his arm screaming, “Iron City’s got nothing.”
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What scares you about the Bengals?
Steel Curtain: The fans. The Jungle is rocking when the Steelers come to town and it scares me worse than a whole flock of beat-down nasty Pittsburgh women. It is scary to think how flustered Ben will get when Cincinnati brings the noise.
What scares us about the Steelers?
Comer Kai: Dick’s system. No matter how much the Bengals practice, 30% of the snaps will feature defensive match-ups the Cincy offense has never seen before. They get the question mark of how do we attack this? Can we adjust? They defeated a 3-4 team last week in the Jets, which is a good sign, but the Steelers are a different beast. To beat Dick, you have to match-up against the scheme. Last week the Bengals didn’t face a nose guard like Casey Hampton or a safety like Polamalu.
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What makes us feel confident in the Steelers?
Steel Curtain: Nothing. We’re terrified.
What makes us feel confident in the Bengals?
Comer Kai: Carson Palmer. The Steelers defense has been solid, but they haven’t really been tested by a high powered offense yet. Browns, Bills, 49ers, Cards, Hawks and Broncos. Provided Carson gets a little time, and no one crawls forward and blasts his knee, he has the arm and the head to get the ball to receivers that are better than the Burgh’s corners. Carson will have his eye on Polamalu and will throw wherever he is not, forcing Ike Taylor and Deshea Townsend to make the play.
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Who is the best (current) player Bengals fans never heard of?
Steel Curtain: As most Steelers fans. I am fairly fair weather. I know we have Big Ben, Hines Ward and Jerome Bettis. We call him, “The Bus.”Watch out. He's real good.
Who is the best (current) player Steelers fans never heard of?
Comer Kai: No one knows fullbacks and the only reason his name may look familiar is because he shares the same last name as Chad, Landon and Rudi. Jeremy Johnson has been a solid player since coming out of Western Kentucky in 2003. But last week he was an absolute force. The whole game he was blasting through the line and moving linebackers, clearing the way for Watson’s three touchdowns. He will be a pivotal player Sunday; unlike when Rudi is running in a straight line behind him, Steelers will have to guess which side of his 260 pound body Kenny Watson will cut from.
---
Who wins and what is the score?
Steel Curtain: Bengals win in a landslide. Ben cries in post-game press conference.
Comer Kai: It’s all about offense in Cincinnati and the Bengals finally remembered how to score. Sure it was against the Jets, but scoring is scoring, and winning is contagious. Keeping the offense on the field makes our defense more successful and forces Ben to throw the ball to catch up. I see the Bengals pushing to score touchdowns and winning with their backs against the wall. 31-27.
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If there was a steel cage match instead of a football game featuring one current player, who do you nominate?
Steel Curtain: Jeff Reed He’s gonna bring the leg. And his frosted tips… bitch.
Comer Kai: Justin Smith. You do not want to enter the steel cage with J. Smith. He has an Anheuser Busch Tattoo on his arm and he wants to tattoo it into your forehead. Look up “big country hillbilly who would love to stab you with beer bottle.” and you’ll see J. Smith. Put him in a steel cage and he’ll drop into a 4-point stance and come at you with a motor that never quits. Two men enter, one man leaves pointing to the Anheuser tattoo on his arm screaming, “Iron City’s got nothing.”-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Keys To The Game
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Week 8 – Steelers
Bengals Win!!! Bengals Win!!! It’s hard to be optimistic after thinking about the whole game. While the Bengals finished with a flurry that was as good as they have played all season, people must remember that they were down to the lowly Jets 23-10 in the 3rd quarter. Once the Bengals turnaround began, the defense made stops when they were needed, grabbed turnovers, and the offense finally woke up. Did somebody sneak Bob Bratkowski out of the locker room during halftime and lock him in a 5/3 Bank vault? The Bengals ran the ball 27 times in the second half of the game, even though they were down by 13 points when they first got the ball. The Bengals came into the Jets game averaging 23 runs per game. With the 41 total rush attempts against the Jets, the Bengals have gone from 30th in the league to 22nd in rush attempts per game. Next up is the Steelers who boast the top defense in the NFL and are currently 2nd in rush attempts per game.
Keys to the Game.
The Steelers lost last week which is good for the Bengals overall. However, the way the Steelers lost is very bad for the Bengals. For some unknown reason, the Steelers decided to throw the ball 35 times which is the most they have thrown the ball going back to November of last season. And as the Steelers learned last season, when they throw the ball, bad things happen. In the Steelers Super Bowl Championship season in 2005, they threw the ball an NFL low 23 times per game. They threw the ball 30 times in only 3 games that season for a 1-2 record and did not reach 30 in any playoff games or the Super Bowl. Last season, the Steelers threw the ball 30 times in 8 games; their record in those 8 games was 1-7. In games when they threw the ball less than 30 times, the Steelers record was 7-1. Contrast that with the Bengals who have thrown the ball an average of 34 times per game in the last 3 seasons with Carson Palmer and are going at a 37.3 per game pace this season. The Steelers bread and butter for 40 years has been to play tough defense and pound the running game. The Steelers will not repeat the mistakes made last week in Denver, so expect an extra heavy dose of power running to test the Bengals weak run defense. The Steelers are currently favored by 3.5.
When the Steelers have the ball: In the Steelers game against Denver, Ben Roethlisberger threw 2 INTs which led to a Denver TD, and he also lost a fumble which was returned for a TD. This week, expect Mike Tomlin to put the offense on strict orders that Roethlisberger is not to throw a pass beyond the line of scrimmage. Expect the Steelers to try for 50 rush attempts and just a few play action or screen passes mixed in to throw the Bengals off. With the Steelers defense being so strong, their offense does not have to worry about going 3 and out and letting the defense play. The Bengals do not have this luxury and the offense has to press for first downs. The Steelers could go 3 and out for three straight quarters and probably only be down by 10 points. They will have no problem running the ball and punting in order to keep the game out of Roethlisberger’s hands. The Bengals defense will rely heavily on the Bengals offense to score and force the Steelers to pick up their passing game. If the Bengals offense does not score, the Steelers will keep the ball on the ground all day and the Bengals defense will wear down. If this happens, we will see Willie Parker running at 15 yards a pop all 4th quarter.
Matchup of mullets: TJ vs S Tyrone Carter
Matchup of Moustaches: RB Kenny Watson vs WR Hines Ward
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs Tattoo Dude
2) The players do not care. This is their job and they care more about prolonging their career than winning. Why would I get a tattoo of a guy that does not really have any loyalty to the team, city, organization, coach, me, my pet tiger Harold, or the fans? The players are temporary hired help who live in condos in town and once they are done playing say ‘sayonara’ and disappear. It would be more appropriate to get a tattoo of a waiter at your favorite restaurant since they will actually talk to you before disappearing.
3) If anyone in the organization finds out, they will laugh their asses off and probably ban me from the stadium. It’s an easy stalker case.
4) I’d like to think I have a life.
5) On the off chance that I could convince a woman to come home with me, how do I explain to her why I have tattoos of random men all over my body?…..Might be a turn off. I doubt that is a problem for this guy though, children like pictures. STEELERS WIN
Trashiest looking cheerbabe: Rhonee vs The Steelerettes
Lindsay Harnish: Lindsay was a Steelerette in 1968. She remembers being called into Dean Priddy's office on more than one occasion -- once for fraternizing with a player and another time for having her skirt too short. Things sure were different back then!
Maybe things weren’t that different, or Lindsay was a trendsetter. I imagine cheerleaders being called to the office today to be told their skirts are too long.
And the best for last:
Carol Claybaugh – Still livin’ the dream. BENGALS WIN
Little known Steelers fact: Pittsburgh females can be a very gullible bunch. Brian Jackson, a local Pittsburgh bachelor, convinced several Pittsburgh women that he was a Steeler. But this went beyond a mistaken identity or lying for a couple of nights. Over a period of two years, Jackson convinced the women that he was Ben Roethlisberger, Jerame Tuman, and Brian St.Pierre. First he would approach the women and explain who he was, how famous he was, and all of the famous friends he was meeting out on the town if the girls would join him. He would woo them with stories about ‘his boys’ and show them the cell phone numbers he had of Jerome Bettis, Hines Ward, and Ike Taylor. Each number was a fake of course, and just a name listing in his phone. He was always “waiting for Hines who should be here any minute.” He would be wearing official Steelers gloves when he drove saying he just came from practice. He would speed through town in his white Denali with tinted windows and say to the women, “Nobody in Pittsburgh is gonna arrest me, I'm a Steeler.” One of the women was immediately suspicious, even though she still went on a date with ‘Big Ben.’ He picked her up at her house, signed some autographs and then took her to dinner. Big Ben forgot his wallet of course, so the woman paid. The next morning, a friend showed her a picture of the real Roethlisberger, she quickly alerted the police. The fake Ben kept calling her insisting that she should believe him and even sent her a fake Ben signed football. One woman, convinced she was dating 3rd string QB Brian St. Pierre, decided to have a party for a Steelers game. Unlucky for her, the camera happened to find the real St. Pierre on the sideline. Her relationship took an immediate turn. These stories are funny, but other girls weren’t so lucky.
One of the girls loaned Jackson $3,200 over the course of their four month relationship. He would ask for money saying he, fake Jerame Tuman, was going through a divorce and couldn’t spend money during the settlement. She loaned him money for rent for his waterfront condo that she never saw, a trip with his Steeler teammates that she never met, and rims for his Denali. After not hearing from Tuman for a month, she got angry and wrote a letter to the Steelers facility asking for her money. She received a call from the Steelers security director informing her that she has never met the real Jerame Tuman. Another woman had to file charges as Jackson began stalking her and threatened her if she went to the police. In the end, Jackson was sentenced to 30 days in prison, forced to undergo psych counseling, and required to avoid his accusers.
Oh, and just to complete the story, here is a picture of Brian Jackson the supposed ‘professional’ athlete:
Jackson
Tuman 
St Pierre
If I were these players, I would sue the women for defamation for telling their friends that I was this tubby knob job.
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Bengals Win!!! Bengals Win!!! It’s hard to be optimistic after thinking about the whole game. While the Bengals finished with a flurry that was as good as they have played all season, people must remember that they were down to the lowly Jets 23-10 in the 3rd quarter. Once the Bengals turnaround began, the defense made stops when they were needed, grabbed turnovers, and the offense finally woke up. Did somebody sneak Bob Bratkowski out of the locker room during halftime and lock him in a 5/3 Bank vault? The Bengals ran the ball 27 times in the second half of the game, even though they were down by 13 points when they first got the ball. The Bengals came into the Jets game averaging 23 runs per game. With the 41 total rush attempts against the Jets, the Bengals have gone from 30th in the league to 22nd in rush attempts per game. Next up is the Steelers who boast the top defense in the NFL and are currently 2nd in rush attempts per game.
Keys to the Game.
The Steelers lost last week which is good for the Bengals overall. However, the way the Steelers lost is very bad for the Bengals. For some unknown reason, the Steelers decided to throw the ball 35 times which is the most they have thrown the ball going back to November of last season. And as the Steelers learned last season, when they throw the ball, bad things happen. In the Steelers Super Bowl Championship season in 2005, they threw the ball an NFL low 23 times per game. They threw the ball 30 times in only 3 games that season for a 1-2 record and did not reach 30 in any playoff games or the Super Bowl. Last season, the Steelers threw the ball 30 times in 8 games; their record in those 8 games was 1-7. In games when they threw the ball less than 30 times, the Steelers record was 7-1. Contrast that with the Bengals who have thrown the ball an average of 34 times per game in the last 3 seasons with Carson Palmer and are going at a 37.3 per game pace this season. The Steelers bread and butter for 40 years has been to play tough defense and pound the running game. The Steelers will not repeat the mistakes made last week in Denver, so expect an extra heavy dose of power running to test the Bengals weak run defense. The Steelers are currently favored by 3.5.
When the Steelers have the ball: In the Steelers game against Denver, Ben Roethlisberger threw 2 INTs which led to a Denver TD, and he also lost a fumble which was returned for a TD. This week, expect Mike Tomlin to put the offense on strict orders that Roethlisberger is not to throw a pass beyond the line of scrimmage. Expect the Steelers to try for 50 rush attempts and just a few play action or screen passes mixed in to throw the Bengals off. With the Steelers defense being so strong, their offense does not have to worry about going 3 and out and letting the defense play. The Bengals do not have this luxury and the offense has to press for first downs. The Steelers could go 3 and out for three straight quarters and probably only be down by 10 points. They will have no problem running the ball and punting in order to keep the game out of Roethlisberger’s hands. The Bengals defense will rely heavily on the Bengals offense to score and force the Steelers to pick up their passing game. If the Bengals offense does not score, the Steelers will keep the ball on the ground all day and the Bengals defense will wear down. If this happens, we will see Willie Parker running at 15 yards a pop all 4th quarter.
When the Bengals have the ball: Bratkowski calls a great game when the Bengals have success running the ball or have the lead. The real test will be this week when the Steelers come to town. The Bengals will not have near the success running the ball that they enjoyed against the Jets. The key will be not to abandon the running attack early in the game. There will be many ugly runs for no gains or losses against the Steelers #1 defense, but the Bengals must keep pounding the run. As stated each week, the running game will slow down the Steelers blitz and shorten the game. If Soul Patch abandons the run, look for the Steelers to go Blitzburgh crazy and turn the game into a repeat of the first half of the Chiefs game. And with incomplete passes stopping the clock, there will be more time for the Bengals defense to be on the field having to stop the Steelers #2 rushing attack. It is a bad combination that the Bengals must overcome, even if they have to run the ball 30 times for 35 yards. To win this game, the Bengals offense must score early while also running the football. It will be a tough balance for Soul Patch to strike, but if he can do it, Roethlisberger will deliver the game.
What you do want to see: Roethlisberger and his ‘loser limp.’ For those not familiar with the term loser limp, it is when someone makes a mistake- dropped pass, fumble, INT, missed tackle- and immediately starts checking out a body part like they are hurt. This is usually seen with little kids in a way to offer an excuse for the mistake. Roethlisberger is a champion of the loser limp. If the game is not going his way, look for him to start examining his ankle or testing his thumb to let everyone know that his mistakes are due to injury, not decisions.
What you don’t want to see: Steelers with 50 rushing attempts and a 50 minute time of possession.
What you don’t want to see: Steelers with 50 rushing attempts and a 50 minute time of possession.
Matchup of mullets: TJ vs S Tyrone Carter
That’s it, I am tired of arguing that mullets make you faster and the Bengals not listening. TJ is the only RB, WR, DB on the Bengals that had a mullet, but he has since gotten rid of it. Do the Bengals want to put any effort into winning? TJ will win this matchup on Sunday. BENGALS WIN
Matchup of Moustaches: RB Kenny Watson vs WR Hines Ward
The matchup of moustaches has been filled with successful individuals and team players all season. This week is no different. Hines Ward, one of the ultimate NFL team players and a Super Bowl MVP, adds to the list that includes Super Bowl winning coaches and Hall of Famers. The Bengals need more moustaches!! STEELERS WIN
Moustaches + mullets = Super Bowl Champs!
Moustaches + mullets = Super Bowl Champs!
Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. QB Ben Roethlisberger
I cannot show the real picture of Ben Roethlisberger because most people find his image crass and offensive. I had to use this softer representation so that nobody would be offended or made ill to the point of vomiting. STEELERS WIN
I cannot show the real picture of Ben Roethlisberger because most people find his image crass and offensive. I had to use this softer representation so that nobody would be offended or made ill to the point of vomiting. STEELERS WIN
Battle of old men: DE Bryan Robinson(33) vs DT Travis Kirschke(33)
Kirschke has been in the NFL for 11 seasons and has 117 total tackles, 8 sacks, 2 kick returns, and one batted down pass. Holy crapsky, that is an average of 11 plays per year in which Kirschke is involved. He has to get the perseverance award for keeping his career alive for 11 seasons. Keep an eye out for a Kirschke batted pass this Sunday, it’s like seeing Haley’s Comet. STEELERS WIN
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs Tattoo Dude
One word- incrediblyembarrassing. I think I am a rather big fan of the Bengals, but never at any time will I get a tattoo involving the Bengals on my body. Why? A few reasons.
1) In the end, this is just entertainment and does not deserve a permanent place on my body.
1) In the end, this is just entertainment and does not deserve a permanent place on my body.
2) The players do not care. This is their job and they care more about prolonging their career than winning. Why would I get a tattoo of a guy that does not really have any loyalty to the team, city, organization, coach, me, my pet tiger Harold, or the fans? The players are temporary hired help who live in condos in town and once they are done playing say ‘sayonara’ and disappear. It would be more appropriate to get a tattoo of a waiter at your favorite restaurant since they will actually talk to you before disappearing.
3) If anyone in the organization finds out, they will laugh their asses off and probably ban me from the stadium. It’s an easy stalker case.
4) I’d like to think I have a life.
5) On the off chance that I could convince a woman to come home with me, how do I explain to her why I have tattoos of random men all over my body?…..Might be a turn off. I doubt that is a problem for this guy though, children like pictures. STEELERS WIN
Trashiest looking cheerbabe: Rhonee vs The Steelerettes
The Steelers do not currently have cheerleaders, but they did have the cleverly named Steelerettes from 1960 to 1970. I thought I would use the picture above instead of cheerleaders from the 60s, thank me later. So proud are the Steelerettes that they maintain a website on their history and keep a ‘where are they now’ update section on the members. A few highlights:
Bonnie Hancock: Bonnie was a Steelerette 1962-1963. She was ineligible for the full 1963 season when it was discovered she married in the off season.
You gotta love those rules, no marriage allowed, no morals on this squad!!
Bonnie Hancock: Bonnie was a Steelerette 1962-1963. She was ineligible for the full 1963 season when it was discovered she married in the off season.You gotta love those rules, no marriage allowed, no morals on this squad!!
Lindsay Harnish: Lindsay was a Steelerette in 1968. She remembers being called into Dean Priddy's office on more than one occasion -- once for fraternizing with a player and another time for having her skirt too short. Things sure were different back then!Maybe things weren’t that different, or Lindsay was a trendsetter. I imagine cheerleaders being called to the office today to be told their skirts are too long.
And the best for last:
Carol Claybaugh – Still livin’ the dream. BENGALS WIN Little known Steelers fact: Pittsburgh females can be a very gullible bunch. Brian Jackson, a local Pittsburgh bachelor, convinced several Pittsburgh women that he was a Steeler. But this went beyond a mistaken identity or lying for a couple of nights. Over a period of two years, Jackson convinced the women that he was Ben Roethlisberger, Jerame Tuman, and Brian St.Pierre. First he would approach the women and explain who he was, how famous he was, and all of the famous friends he was meeting out on the town if the girls would join him. He would woo them with stories about ‘his boys’ and show them the cell phone numbers he had of Jerome Bettis, Hines Ward, and Ike Taylor. Each number was a fake of course, and just a name listing in his phone. He was always “waiting for Hines who should be here any minute.” He would be wearing official Steelers gloves when he drove saying he just came from practice. He would speed through town in his white Denali with tinted windows and say to the women, “Nobody in Pittsburgh is gonna arrest me, I'm a Steeler.” One of the women was immediately suspicious, even though she still went on a date with ‘Big Ben.’ He picked her up at her house, signed some autographs and then took her to dinner. Big Ben forgot his wallet of course, so the woman paid. The next morning, a friend showed her a picture of the real Roethlisberger, she quickly alerted the police. The fake Ben kept calling her insisting that she should believe him and even sent her a fake Ben signed football. One woman, convinced she was dating 3rd string QB Brian St. Pierre, decided to have a party for a Steelers game. Unlucky for her, the camera happened to find the real St. Pierre on the sideline. Her relationship took an immediate turn. These stories are funny, but other girls weren’t so lucky.
One of the girls loaned Jackson $3,200 over the course of their four month relationship. He would ask for money saying he, fake Jerame Tuman, was going through a divorce and couldn’t spend money during the settlement. She loaned him money for rent for his waterfront condo that she never saw, a trip with his Steeler teammates that she never met, and rims for his Denali. After not hearing from Tuman for a month, she got angry and wrote a letter to the Steelers facility asking for her money. She received a call from the Steelers security director informing her that she has never met the real Jerame Tuman. Another woman had to file charges as Jackson began stalking her and threatened her if she went to the police. In the end, Jackson was sentenced to 30 days in prison, forced to undergo psych counseling, and required to avoid his accusers.
Oh, and just to complete the story, here is a picture of Brian Jackson the supposed ‘professional’ athlete:
Jackson
Tuman 
St PierreIf I were these players, I would sue the women for defamation for telling their friends that I was this tubby knob job.
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Chris Henry on the field
I for one was worried that the NFL would find more reasons to keep Chris Henry suspended for more than 8 games this season. The Bengals released a press release today that Chris Henry has been cleared to practice today.
Awesome. This should help us in a couple weeks.
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Awesome. This should help us in a couple weeks.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Should He Stay or Should He Go?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Chad Johnson's name has apparently been floated as possible trade fodder for after the season. Geoff Hobson doesn't think it's likely. Marvin has kind of denied it, citing that he's the only one in the organization with the ability to speak. Chad hasn't confirmed or denied it, making sure the story will last another day.
Hobson makes two good points: the salary cap hit doesn't make sense this offseason. And possibly the most likely source for this is Drew Rosenhaus. Read Hobson's article to hear his reasons, he makes a good point.
Let's have a little fun, though. Who could we get? The first trade that I can think of that may be comparable is the trade of Clinton Portis for Champ Bailey. What's notable about that trade was that Mike Shanahan, who's never had trouble creating running backs, bilked Joe Gibbs, who misunderstood the two players' relative value in the NFL he had just returned to after years out of the game.
But, besides that last point, maybe we can get a great defensive player for a great offensive player. Like Demeco Ryans from Houston. Doubt the Texans would make that trade, but the idea is exciting.
Maybe a more likely trade would be for a first and a third round pick. I don't know, might be worth it. I don't put any trust in Chris Henry, but it's fun thinking about how great it would be if we could depend on him.
One last, really interesting piece of information from Hobson's article:
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Hobson makes two good points: the salary cap hit doesn't make sense this offseason. And possibly the most likely source for this is Drew Rosenhaus. Read Hobson's article to hear his reasons, he makes a good point.
Let's have a little fun, though. Who could we get? The first trade that I can think of that may be comparable is the trade of Clinton Portis for Champ Bailey. What's notable about that trade was that Mike Shanahan, who's never had trouble creating running backs, bilked Joe Gibbs, who misunderstood the two players' relative value in the NFL he had just returned to after years out of the game.
But, besides that last point, maybe we can get a great defensive player for a great offensive player. Like Demeco Ryans from Houston. Doubt the Texans would make that trade, but the idea is exciting.
Maybe a more likely trade would be for a first and a third round pick. I don't know, might be worth it. I don't put any trust in Chris Henry, but it's fun thinking about how great it would be if we could depend on him.
One last, really interesting piece of information from Hobson's article:
This team's chemistry hasn't really been right since his blowup in the locker room at halftime of the Wild Card game two years ago and for that everyone has to take the blame:
Chad for losing his cool. Lewis for apparently not addressing it decisively enough because it still lingers. His teammates for letting him get away with it.
(At least the pundits believe it hasn't been right, but so does the record, 10-12 since.)
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Steeler Week
Ah it's Steeler week. That is a special time in Cincinnati when the energy in the air is thick and all the fair weather fans come out of the woodwork. I actually heard this on the radio today:
and the icing on the cake. While this guy is not a player, he is a mayor. And this happened at the Steelers home stadium.
The mayor of suburban Forest Hills was arrested outside the Pittsburgh Steelers game on Sunday. Raymond J. Heller Jr. was charged with public drunkenness and defiant trespass, authorities said. Police said Heinz Field security refused to let Heller into the stadium because he was drunk and arrested him when he refused to leave the property. Heller could not immediately be reached for comment Monday and it was not clear if he had an attorney.
Awesome.
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"I am a Cincinnati guy born and raised. But, I am also a fan of good football. That is why I am a Pittsburgh Steelers fan."
aka...
I am 100% a fair weather fan. At the game on Sunday he will have a Bengals shirt under his Steelers jersey.
I thought I would throw the first jab in this rivalry with a little bit of defense. It is no secret that Steeler fans are probably not that intelligent. So they will come at Bengals fans with the "We Dey" chant from the chin and the always popular "WhoDey gonna arrest next". To the second one I make this rebuttal:
These people were all on the Steelers roster at the time of their arrest:
Barrett Brooks - Fleeing arrest on a motorcycle
Santonio Holmes - Disorderly conduct
Santonio Holmes - Assaulting a woman
(Holmes said he was hopeful that he would go high in the draft so he could support his three children.)
Najeh Davenport - domestic violence, endangering children and unlawful restraint
Richard Seigler - running a prostitution operation
Deshea Townsend - assault
Raymond Burgess - assault
I thought I would throw the first jab in this rivalry with a little bit of defense. It is no secret that Steeler fans are probably not that intelligent. So they will come at Bengals fans with the "We Dey" chant from the chin and the always popular "WhoDey gonna arrest next". To the second one I make this rebuttal:
These people were all on the Steelers roster at the time of their arrest:
Barrett Brooks - Fleeing arrest on a motorcycle
Santonio Holmes - Disorderly conduct
Santonio Holmes - Assaulting a woman
(Holmes said he was hopeful that he would go high in the draft so he could support his three children.)
Najeh Davenport - domestic violence, endangering children and unlawful restraint
Richard Seigler - running a prostitution operation
Deshea Townsend - assault
Raymond Burgess - assault
and the icing on the cake. While this guy is not a player, he is a mayor. And this happened at the Steelers home stadium.
The mayor of suburban Forest Hills was arrested outside the Pittsburgh Steelers game on Sunday. Raymond J. Heller Jr. was charged with public drunkenness and defiant trespass, authorities said. Police said Heinz Field security refused to let Heller into the stadium because he was drunk and arrested him when he refused to leave the property. Heller could not immediately be reached for comment Monday and it was not clear if he had an attorney.
Awesome.
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Streak is broken...
Monday, October 22, 2007
One in a row. You could say the Bengals have snapped the losing streak and begun the winning streak. A win over Pittsburgh could be a season changing swing. More on that this week however.
What I Liked:
- We made adjustments in the second half and put together some solid football.
- We ran the ball 41 times and controlled that part of the game.
- Kenny Watson is a stud
- Pass D showed up
What I didn't like:
- Cincinnati fans... You shouldn't boo your own team. I know you love it when Carson throws a bomb, but sometimes the run for 2-3yds is a good play too.
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What I Liked:
- We made adjustments in the second half and put together some solid football.
- We ran the ball 41 times and controlled that part of the game.
- Kenny Watson is a stud
- Pass D showed up
What I didn't like:
- Cincinnati fans... You shouldn't boo your own team. I know you love it when Carson throws a bomb, but sometimes the run for 2-3yds is a good play too.
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Jets. Steel Cage Questions
Friday, October 19, 2007
This week we trade questions with the guys from www.thejetsblog.com. Check out their site. They do a pretty amazing job.
What scares you about the Bengals?
Thejetsblog: The Holy Trinity of Palmer, Johnson and Houshmandzadeh. The Jets' ability to stop the pass is suspect, and I think these three could have a very big day. If it turns into a 'track meet,' the Jets don't stand a chance.
What scares us about the Jets?
Comer Kai: Thomas Jones. Typically success stopping the run does not fall on just the defensive line. The entire front 7 should work together to create one line. D-line does their job and then linebackers fill the holes. The Bengals linebackers are very slow to react. Chalk it up to inexperience or simply drop in talent from starter-to backup-to the guy “picked up off someone else’s practice squad”. Regardless of the reason, when the linebackers don’t clog the holes, the running lanes are wide open. Thomas Jones has the potential run all over the Bengals. He’s got mad game on and off the field.
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What match up makes you feel confident in the Jets?
Thejetsblog: Sadly, kick returns. Backup RB Leon Washington who is filling in for injured Pro Bowl returner Justin Miller already has two TDs already on the season. The Bengals have struggled on covering kicks, so I expect Washington to put the Jets in good field position during the game ... something the Jets are going to need badly.
What match up makes us feel confident in the Bengals?
Comer Kai: Okay, so last week we felt confident in our much bigger o-line imposing their will upon the smaller Chiefs d-line. Then Levi melted down and we stopped running. Therefore I’ll search out another bright spot. Jonathan Joseph is back on the field at corner splitting the field with Deltha O’Neil. With Pennington’s arm strength in question, these two former #1 picks should be able to jump some routes and cause the turnovers that make this defense work.
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Who is the best (current) Jet's player, Bengal's fans have never heard of?
Thejetsblog: Kerry Rhodes, got a lot of hype leading up to the season. The Jets' Safety has quickly become a difference-maker for the defense. In his rookie year, 2005 he put up similar numbers to Troy Polamalu, but didn't have the hair to get the hype. Last year was his break out season where he had 5 sacks, 3 forced fumbles and 4 interceptions. Although the team has had trouble this season defensively, Rhodes is still doing his best to make plays for the team. So far in 2007, he has an interception, a forced fumble with recovery for TD, as well as a sack on McNabb last week where he almost had a safety. He's a guy that can be dangerous when pressuring the QB or roaming in center field. (Plus he has a sweet diamond belt).
Who is the best (current) Bengal's player, Jet's fans have never heard of?
Comer Kai: Linebacker Robert Geathers. Maybe you have heard of Geathers, the defensive end, but chances are you have not heard of Robert Geathers the linebacker. Due to the decimated linebacking core, he ended up getting the start in a position that at one point saw a mix of two guys with a couple weeks of Bengal’s experience and a rookie safety. Geathers is big and extremely athletic and could create problems for a defense. This is a guy who is used to going against O-Tackles, and this Sunday, could find himself with only a running back between him and Pennington. And when Geathers hits Quarterbacks. It is not pretty.
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Who wins the game and what's the score?
Thejetsblog: I think that the Bengals win 31 - 24.
Comer Kai: Got to go with the Bengals. Because if they don’t win, we won’t even have the slimmest of hopes of the playoffs no matter how easy the rest of our schedule is. Lets say the Bengals offense wakes and converts a couple third downs. Suddenly a few sustained drives keep the defense off the field and Thomas Jones from eating up the clock. Bengals get a few key turnovers and pull out a slim victory 24-17.
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If there was a steel cage match instead of a football game featuring one current
player, who do you nominate?
Thejetsblog: If it was a bar brawl, I think I would nominate RT Anthony Clement (6'8" 320), but sight unseen, I would have to say rookie ILB David Harris (6'2" 243). Harris played his college ball at Michigan and is as smart as he is tough. Watching Harris early on during training camp, he can hit pretty hard. I wouldn't want to be stuck in a cage with him.
Comer Kai: This week we bring American Samoan Damato Peko. According to an ESPN article in 2002, a Samoan male is 40 times more likely to play in the NFL than a non-Samoan American. Why? Because are enormous and warriors by birth. Peko is no exception. At 319, he’s a mountain of a man and that huge mop of hair is a sign that he is a warrior and ready for battle. Of course, in the Steel Cage we’ll tie it up in a nice little bun to make sure Harris doesn’t use it against him.
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What scares you about the Bengals?
Thejetsblog: The Holy Trinity of Palmer, Johnson and Houshmandzadeh. The Jets' ability to stop the pass is suspect, and I think these three could have a very big day. If it turns into a 'track meet,' the Jets don't stand a chance.
What scares us about the Jets?
Comer Kai: Thomas Jones. Typically success stopping the run does not fall on just the defensive line. The entire front 7 should work together to create one line. D-line does their job and then linebackers fill the holes. The Bengals linebackers are very slow to react. Chalk it up to inexperience or simply drop in talent from starter-to backup-to the guy “picked up off someone else’s practice squad”. Regardless of the reason, when the linebackers don’t clog the holes, the running lanes are wide open. Thomas Jones has the potential run all over the Bengals. He’s got mad game on and off the field.
---
What match up makes you feel confident in the Jets?
Thejetsblog: Sadly, kick returns. Backup RB Leon Washington who is filling in for injured Pro Bowl returner Justin Miller already has two TDs already on the season. The Bengals have struggled on covering kicks, so I expect Washington to put the Jets in good field position during the game ... something the Jets are going to need badly.
What match up makes us feel confident in the Bengals?
Comer Kai: Okay, so last week we felt confident in our much bigger o-line imposing their will upon the smaller Chiefs d-line. Then Levi melted down and we stopped running. Therefore I’ll search out another bright spot. Jonathan Joseph is back on the field at corner splitting the field with Deltha O’Neil. With Pennington’s arm strength in question, these two former #1 picks should be able to jump some routes and cause the turnovers that make this defense work.
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Who is the best (current) Jet's player, Bengal's fans have never heard of?
Thejetsblog: Kerry Rhodes, got a lot of hype leading up to the season. The Jets' Safety has quickly become a difference-maker for the defense. In his rookie year, 2005 he put up similar numbers to Troy Polamalu, but didn't have the hair to get the hype. Last year was his break out season where he had 5 sacks, 3 forced fumbles and 4 interceptions. Although the team has had trouble this season defensively, Rhodes is still doing his best to make plays for the team. So far in 2007, he has an interception, a forced fumble with recovery for TD, as well as a sack on McNabb last week where he almost had a safety. He's a guy that can be dangerous when pressuring the QB or roaming in center field. (Plus he has a sweet diamond belt).Who is the best (current) Bengal's player, Jet's fans have never heard of?
Comer Kai: Linebacker Robert Geathers. Maybe you have heard of Geathers, the defensive end, but chances are you have not heard of Robert Geathers the linebacker. Due to the decimated linebacking core, he ended up getting the start in a position that at one point saw a mix of two guys with a couple weeks of Bengal’s experience and a rookie safety. Geathers is big and extremely athletic and could create problems for a defense. This is a guy who is used to going against O-Tackles, and this Sunday, could find himself with only a running back between him and Pennington. And when Geathers hits Quarterbacks. It is not pretty.
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Who wins the game and what's the score?
Thejetsblog: I think that the Bengals win 31 - 24.
Comer Kai: Got to go with the Bengals. Because if they don’t win, we won’t even have the slimmest of hopes of the playoffs no matter how easy the rest of our schedule is. Lets say the Bengals offense wakes and converts a couple third downs. Suddenly a few sustained drives keep the defense off the field and Thomas Jones from eating up the clock. Bengals get a few key turnovers and pull out a slim victory 24-17.
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If there was a steel cage match instead of a football game featuring one current
player, who do you nominate? Thejetsblog: If it was a bar brawl, I think I would nominate RT Anthony Clement (6'8" 320), but sight unseen, I would have to say rookie ILB David Harris (6'2" 243). Harris played his college ball at Michigan and is as smart as he is tough. Watching Harris early on during training camp, he can hit pretty hard. I wouldn't want to be stuck in a cage with him.
Comer Kai: This week we bring American Samoan Damato Peko. According to an ESPN article in 2002, a Samoan male is 40 times more likely to play in the NFL than a non-Samoan American. Why? Because are enormous and warriors by birth. Peko is no exception. At 319, he’s a mountain of a man and that huge mop of hair is a sign that he is a warrior and ready for battle. Of course, in the Steel Cage we’ll tie it up in a nice little bun to make sure Harris doesn’t use it against him.
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Keys To The Game
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Week 7 – Jets
We tried to justify the Bengals slow start by talking about injuries and the tough schedule, but now there is no other conclusion to make other than this is just a bad team. The talent is there to win games, but this is a bad team. The Bengals had 2 weeks to prepare for the Chiefs, they said it was a must win game, yet they came out unprepared, unfocused, and flat. The Bengals gave up 30 yards in penalties on the opening drive of the game to a team that had not scored in the first quarter all year. They followed that up by allowing 20 first half points to a Chiefs team that had scored 16 first half points combined in 6 previous games going back to last season. Even after their offensive explosion against the Bengals, the Chiefs offense is still in the bottom 5 in the league. The Chiefs have a good defensive line, but they are in no way dominating. The Chiefs D-linemen have made exactly zero pro bowls, but the Bengals made them look like the ’65 Rams “Fearsome Foursome” as every snap was a jailbreak. And when needed, the Bengals went backwards in every short yardage situation. Levi Jones had previously stated that he didn’t sign his contract to be a backup, then did he sign it to be embarrassed on the field? While the score was 27-20, the game was not that close, and the Bengals were dominated by a team that is average at best. With the Bengals talent, their problems can only be attributed to coaching or a lack of acceptance of coaching. Either way, there needs to be major changes. Either Marvin needs to overhaul the roster with people willing to accept his coaching, or Marvin needs to go in favor of someone who can get the team under control.
The point of every season is to get to the playoffs, that is every team’s initial goal. Can the Bengals still make the playoffs? In a tremendously optimistic world, like the movie Joe Dirt
where mulleted David Spade scores multiple scorching hot ladies, the Bengals can still do it. How you might ask? First, the Bengals started 1-4 in Marvin’s first two seasons as coach. Both of those teams got hot and had shots at the playoffs going into the last weeks of the season. However, those teams were not good and overachieved as Marvin was trying to turn the franchise around. This year’s team is good, yet is in a freefall, but we’ll forget that point for a second. Next, the Bengals schedule is supposedly easy enough to produce wins. The Bengals should be able to beat the 6 teams left in the AFC East (NYJ, @BUF, @MIA) and the NFC West (ARI, STL, @SF). That would give them 7 wins, then depending on what is needed for the wild card, the Bengals may only need to win 2 of the remaining games, @PIT, PIT, @BAL, CLE, TEN. This would be possible if the Bengals could beat teams that they should beat. So far this season, the Bengals have been favored to win in 3 games, their record in those games is 1-2. So don’t bet on the Bengals getting their act together enough for 9 wins. By the way, the Bengals somehow are favored by 6 this week against the Jets.
Keys to the Game.
With a record of 1-5, the Jets are one of three teams in the NFL that are currently in worse shape than the 1-4 Bengals. The Jets offense is about the same as the Chiefs, yet a little worse. Does it really matter though? The good news is that the Jets have an equally bad defense. In fact, the Jets defense is so bad that they are nearing the Bengals defense. The Jets lone win was a 3 point struggle at home against the winless Dolphins. This is the Bengals rock bottom game, either they start the uphill climb back to respectability, or just sink to rock bottom.
When the Jets have the ball: Bad news, the Jets have a strong running back in Thomas Jones. Jones was battling injuries early in the season and got off to a slow start. However, he is healthy now and ran for 130 yards last week against a usually tough Philly defense. The good news, the well documented weak arm of QB Chad Pennington should allow the Bengals defense to crowd the line. Much has been said about Pennington not being able to throw the deep ball, but with that said, his accuracy has been good so far at 68%. He has been prone to interceptions though. Aside from Tom Brady, the Bengals have played a “struggling” QB every week and except for Steve McNair, every QB has had no problem with the Bengals defense. With Pennington supposedly not being able to throw deep, the Bengals weak pass rush should not matter as the Jets will not be running deep routes. The passing game will test the Bengals DBs as the Jets do a lot of quick hits, crossing patterns, and short cuts. The Bengals DBs will have to play tight and break quickly on the ball which they did not do at all last week against the Chiefs. If Thomas Jones can get going, he will draw the Bengals DBs more into the running game. Once that happens, look for a long and frustrating day of 5 yard runs and quick 6 yards passes up and down the field. My favorite part of every Bengals game is watching Dexter Jackson break late on a play or miss a tackle, and then after the play is over, turn and yell at teammates or the refs. The poor guy is surrounded by incompetence and he is just letting everyone know it. And something to spotlight, we did have a Frostee Rucker sighting on Sunday. After being a 3rd round draft choice in 2005, he has now played in 2 games, has 1 assisted tackle, and 1 fumble recovery.
When the Bengals have the ball: The Jets do not have a strong frontline pass rusher like the Bengals have faced in most games this season. However, they do run a 3-4 defense which can give an offensive line fits if they do not communicate. The Bengals seemed to get their act together in the 2nd half against the Chiefs, but they cannot afford any breakdowns this week against the Jets. As long as the Bengals can pick up the blitzes run by the Jets, the Jets do not have any players good enough to beat the Bengals linemen one on one.
A glaring problem with the Bengals offense is their 3rd down efficiency. But the problem of extending drives goes beyond just 3rd down. Not every drive has to be scoring in order to be successful. Sometimes getting a few first downs, running the ball to keep the clock going, and getting a good punt for field position can be the most important drive in the game. Running the ball not only helps the passing game, but it also shortens the game and can help keep a bad defense off the field. Any way you look at it, Kenny Watson has been very productive as a running back. In the past 3 games, he has carried the ball 35 times for 183 yards for a 5.3 yard avg. per carry. Against KC, he had 68 yards on 13 carries(5.2 avg), why is he only getting the ball 13 times? Watson had 24 yards on his first 2 carries, and then proceeded to get the ball 4 times in the Bengals next 21 plays until halftime. Meanwhile, the Chiefs pass rush was killing the Bengals passing game for 3 sacks, 1 lost fumble, 1 INT, and countless Carson pressures. Sacks and turnovers kill drives, field position, and put a lot of pressure on the defense. On the Chiefs first TD drive, they started on the Bengals 44 following a sack, punt and good punt return. The next drive started on the Bengals 45 following a Jared Allen sack/fumble. Luckily, Larry Johnson fumbled out of the endzone to save another TD set up by bad offense. The next Chiefs drive began on the Bengals 46 following a Palmer INT on 3rd and 14. This time Larry Johnson held onto the ball and scored a TD for the Chiefs. Seeing a theme here? The Bengals offense gets too cute in all situations instead of taking the easy way to first downs. Twice on 3rd and short, the Bengals came to the line and the Chiefs had nobody over the center. Both DTs were over or outside the Bengals Guards. With at least a 6 foot gap between DTs, the Bengals having 3 linemen to the Chiefs 2, and Palmer being 6 foot 5, why couldn’t the Bengals do a quick snap to get the yard? All Palmer would have to do is take the snap, take one step forward, and fall down to get a first down. It may be a chincy grade school move, but it will get you the first down. Instead, the Bengals try to run a toss sweep having 350 pound men moving sideways, or having a WR run a 2 yard route in traffic. It seems the Bengals only like to run a QB sneak when the defense is crowded all over the center.
This week, the Jets are sure to follow the same formula and bring everything to disrupt Palmer and the passing game. I only hope The Soul Patch gives the ball to Watson enough to help Palmer and the defense.
[Bratkowski]
While Mangold does not have a classic mullet, he has to be recognized for whatever this is. I think he is trying to scare people away from him on the football field. I bet his hair smells like cinnamon and rose petals. BENGALS WIN
Smith was a star QB in college at Missouri and is trying to convert to WR in the NFL. What is the best way to immerse yourself into a new position? Try to look like your coach by growing a moustache, WR Coach Noel Mazzone.
Holy crap, what is it with strength coaches? Through all of the weekly analysis, I have learned only 2 things. One, mullets make you run faster, and two, strength coaches are the most God-awful ugliest people on the planet. And I may go out on a limb and say their rank in ugliness could extend beyond the planet Earth and through any era in time. Strength coaches give credence to one of the basic tenets of Scientology- that Xenu, the dictator of a galactic confederacy millions of years ago, brought his people to Earth and their spirits remain. Strength coaches have to be the vestiges of this defining event in galactic history. Tom Cruise is right!!!
Graham is an Australian native and star Aussie Rules football player who made his NFL debut at age 31. He played for the Geelong Football Club where in 1999 he won the club’s “Best and Fairest” award. The top players in Aussie Rules football can make up to $800,000 in US Dollars for 25 to 30 games per year. However, Graham signed a 6 year $5.2million dollar contract with the Jets prior to last season. He could be a star player and target in Australia for 25 games, or for a little more money, he can be a lowly anonymous punter in the US and never have to risk his body in 16 games. Some may consider this a smart financial move, but I consider Graham an unmitigated sellout worthy of the utmost contempt. BENGALS WIN
Elmo is one of the sickest and freakiest perverts in America. He hosts a children’s show, his doll promotes kids to tickle him, and his biggest supporter is an overweight lesbian. Is Elmo related to John Mark Karr? If I walked around like Elmo I would be thrown in jail for the rest of my life, but because he is a little red furball, he gets away with it. BENGALS WIN
Trashiest looking cheerbabe: Rhonee vs Gina
It is really not fair this week for the Bengals cheerleaders. Even though the Jets “Flight Crew” (That is the real name) was just started in recent years, they have the ability to add girls from Long Island, New York. Long Island is the epicenter for American trashy, everything else is just the minor leagues. Nowhere else in the world can one become a billionaire just by opening a nail, hair or tanning salon. Let’s see what Gina from Long Island was wearing as she stepped out of her boyfriend’s parent’s Escalade for Flight Crew tryouts:
At least she knows how to dress for a tryout and highlight her strengths. And then of course you must pose for your individual shot at the team photoshoot. Each girl picked her own pose, and here is Gina’s.
Sadly, Rhonee did not stand a chance, and I am looking for an apartment on Long Island. JETS WIN
Little known Jets fact: Jets star defensive end Mark Gastineau had 107.5 QB sacks in 108 career starts. He surprised everyone when in 1988, at the age of 31, he retired midseason while leading the NFL in sacks. In what can only be described as one of the oddest reality TV show worthy moments, Gastineau retired to spend more time with his new fiance Brigitte Nielson, who was having health problems at the time. Meanwhile, Gastineau was still married to his first wife and reality tv star, Lisa Gastineau, with whom he had one daughter Brittny. Lisa and Mark’s marriage fell apart when Lisa walked into their home to find Mark in bed with Brigitte Nielson. Where were all of the VH1 and E! Channel cameras when the real action was going down?
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We tried to justify the Bengals slow start by talking about injuries and the tough schedule, but now there is no other conclusion to make other than this is just a bad team. The talent is there to win games, but this is a bad team. The Bengals had 2 weeks to prepare for the Chiefs, they said it was a must win game, yet they came out unprepared, unfocused, and flat. The Bengals gave up 30 yards in penalties on the opening drive of the game to a team that had not scored in the first quarter all year. They followed that up by allowing 20 first half points to a Chiefs team that had scored 16 first half points combined in 6 previous games going back to last season. Even after their offensive explosion against the Bengals, the Chiefs offense is still in the bottom 5 in the league. The Chiefs have a good defensive line, but they are in no way dominating. The Chiefs D-linemen have made exactly zero pro bowls, but the Bengals made them look like the ’65 Rams “Fearsome Foursome” as every snap was a jailbreak. And when needed, the Bengals went backwards in every short yardage situation. Levi Jones had previously stated that he didn’t sign his contract to be a backup, then did he sign it to be embarrassed on the field? While the score was 27-20, the game was not that close, and the Bengals were dominated by a team that is average at best. With the Bengals talent, their problems can only be attributed to coaching or a lack of acceptance of coaching. Either way, there needs to be major changes. Either Marvin needs to overhaul the roster with people willing to accept his coaching, or Marvin needs to go in favor of someone who can get the team under control.
The point of every season is to get to the playoffs, that is every team’s initial goal. Can the Bengals still make the playoffs? In a tremendously optimistic world, like the movie Joe Dirt
where mulleted David Spade scores multiple scorching hot ladies, the Bengals can still do it. How you might ask? First, the Bengals started 1-4 in Marvin’s first two seasons as coach. Both of those teams got hot and had shots at the playoffs going into the last weeks of the season. However, those teams were not good and overachieved as Marvin was trying to turn the franchise around. This year’s team is good, yet is in a freefall, but we’ll forget that point for a second. Next, the Bengals schedule is supposedly easy enough to produce wins. The Bengals should be able to beat the 6 teams left in the AFC East (NYJ, @BUF, @MIA) and the NFC West (ARI, STL, @SF). That would give them 7 wins, then depending on what is needed for the wild card, the Bengals may only need to win 2 of the remaining games, @PIT, PIT, @BAL, CLE, TEN. This would be possible if the Bengals could beat teams that they should beat. So far this season, the Bengals have been favored to win in 3 games, their record in those games is 1-2. So don’t bet on the Bengals getting their act together enough for 9 wins. By the way, the Bengals somehow are favored by 6 this week against the Jets.Keys to the Game.
With a record of 1-5, the Jets are one of three teams in the NFL that are currently in worse shape than the 1-4 Bengals. The Jets offense is about the same as the Chiefs, yet a little worse. Does it really matter though? The good news is that the Jets have an equally bad defense. In fact, the Jets defense is so bad that they are nearing the Bengals defense. The Jets lone win was a 3 point struggle at home against the winless Dolphins. This is the Bengals rock bottom game, either they start the uphill climb back to respectability, or just sink to rock bottom.
When the Jets have the ball: Bad news, the Jets have a strong running back in Thomas Jones. Jones was battling injuries early in the season and got off to a slow start. However, he is healthy now and ran for 130 yards last week against a usually tough Philly defense. The good news, the well documented weak arm of QB Chad Pennington should allow the Bengals defense to crowd the line. Much has been said about Pennington not being able to throw the deep ball, but with that said, his accuracy has been good so far at 68%. He has been prone to interceptions though. Aside from Tom Brady, the Bengals have played a “struggling” QB every week and except for Steve McNair, every QB has had no problem with the Bengals defense. With Pennington supposedly not being able to throw deep, the Bengals weak pass rush should not matter as the Jets will not be running deep routes. The passing game will test the Bengals DBs as the Jets do a lot of quick hits, crossing patterns, and short cuts. The Bengals DBs will have to play tight and break quickly on the ball which they did not do at all last week against the Chiefs. If Thomas Jones can get going, he will draw the Bengals DBs more into the running game. Once that happens, look for a long and frustrating day of 5 yard runs and quick 6 yards passes up and down the field. My favorite part of every Bengals game is watching Dexter Jackson break late on a play or miss a tackle, and then after the play is over, turn and yell at teammates or the refs. The poor guy is surrounded by incompetence and he is just letting everyone know it. And something to spotlight, we did have a Frostee Rucker sighting on Sunday. After being a 3rd round draft choice in 2005, he has now played in 2 games, has 1 assisted tackle, and 1 fumble recovery.
When the Bengals have the ball: The Jets do not have a strong frontline pass rusher like the Bengals have faced in most games this season. However, they do run a 3-4 defense which can give an offensive line fits if they do not communicate. The Bengals seemed to get their act together in the 2nd half against the Chiefs, but they cannot afford any breakdowns this week against the Jets. As long as the Bengals can pick up the blitzes run by the Jets, the Jets do not have any players good enough to beat the Bengals linemen one on one.
A glaring problem with the Bengals offense is their 3rd down efficiency. But the problem of extending drives goes beyond just 3rd down. Not every drive has to be scoring in order to be successful. Sometimes getting a few first downs, running the ball to keep the clock going, and getting a good punt for field position can be the most important drive in the game. Running the ball not only helps the passing game, but it also shortens the game and can help keep a bad defense off the field. Any way you look at it, Kenny Watson has been very productive as a running back. In the past 3 games, he has carried the ball 35 times for 183 yards for a 5.3 yard avg. per carry. Against KC, he had 68 yards on 13 carries(5.2 avg), why is he only getting the ball 13 times? Watson had 24 yards on his first 2 carries, and then proceeded to get the ball 4 times in the Bengals next 21 plays until halftime. Meanwhile, the Chiefs pass rush was killing the Bengals passing game for 3 sacks, 1 lost fumble, 1 INT, and countless Carson pressures. Sacks and turnovers kill drives, field position, and put a lot of pressure on the defense. On the Chiefs first TD drive, they started on the Bengals 44 following a sack, punt and good punt return. The next drive started on the Bengals 45 following a Jared Allen sack/fumble. Luckily, Larry Johnson fumbled out of the endzone to save another TD set up by bad offense. The next Chiefs drive began on the Bengals 46 following a Palmer INT on 3rd and 14. This time Larry Johnson held onto the ball and scored a TD for the Chiefs. Seeing a theme here? The Bengals offense gets too cute in all situations instead of taking the easy way to first downs. Twice on 3rd and short, the Bengals came to the line and the Chiefs had nobody over the center. Both DTs were over or outside the Bengals Guards. With at least a 6 foot gap between DTs, the Bengals having 3 linemen to the Chiefs 2, and Palmer being 6 foot 5, why couldn’t the Bengals do a quick snap to get the yard? All Palmer would have to do is take the snap, take one step forward, and fall down to get a first down. It may be a chincy grade school move, but it will get you the first down. Instead, the Bengals try to run a toss sweep having 350 pound men moving sideways, or having a WR run a 2 yard route in traffic. It seems the Bengals only like to run a QB sneak when the defense is crowded all over the center.
This week, the Jets are sure to follow the same formula and bring everything to disrupt Palmer and the passing game. I only hope The Soul Patch gives the ball to Watson enough to help Palmer and the defense.[Bratkowski]
What you do want to see: The Bengals run the ball until the Jets stop them from doing it.
What you don’t want to see: The Bengals injury report.
What you don’t want to see: The Bengals injury report.
Matchup of mullets: TJ vs Nick Mangold
While Mangold does not have a classic mullet, he has to be recognized for whatever this is. I think he is trying to scare people away from him on the football field. I bet his hair smells like cinnamon and rose petals. BENGALS WIN
Matchup of Moustaches: RB Kenny Watson vs WR Brad Smith
Smith was a star QB in college at Missouri and is trying to convert to WR in the NFL. What is the best way to immerse yourself into a new position? Try to look like your coach by growing a moustache, WR Coach Noel Mazzone.
I didn’t know Buddy LaRosa had a brother working for the Jets. JETS WIN
Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. Strength Coach Rick Lyle
Holy crap, what is it with strength coaches? Through all of the weekly analysis, I have learned only 2 things. One, mullets make you run faster, and two, strength coaches are the most God-awful ugliest people on the planet. And I may go out on a limb and say their rank in ugliness could extend beyond the planet Earth and through any era in time. Strength coaches give credence to one of the basic tenets of Scientology- that Xenu, the dictator of a galactic confederacy millions of years ago, brought his people to Earth and their spirits remain. Strength coaches have to be the vestiges of this defining event in galactic history. Tom Cruise is right!!!
NFL strength coaches:
Not coincidentally, the man who played Sloth, John Matuszak, played for the Oakland Raiders and then competed in strong man competitions. Could Sloth have been an NFL strength coach? He looks like an NFL strength coach, but he was just too accepting of Chunk being a tub of lard. "Sloth hate Chunk and his fat ass, get in here and LIFT!!"
To make things fair to Jeff Rowe, I will match him up against a non strength coach, OL Mike DeVito:
To make things fair to Jeff Rowe, I will match him up against a non strength coach, OL Mike DeVito:
DeVito is an appropriate name as this guy reminds me of Danny DeVito in the movie twins. Doctors create the perfect baby from multiple eggs, and with all of the crap left over they make the baby’s twin, DeVito. It’s not enough to beat our man Jeff though. BENGALS WIN
Battle of old men: DE Bryan Robinson(33) vs P Ben Graham(33)
Graham is an Australian native and star Aussie Rules football player who made his NFL debut at age 31. He played for the Geelong Football Club where in 1999 he won the club’s “Best and Fairest” award. The top players in Aussie Rules football can make up to $800,000 in US Dollars for 25 to 30 games per year. However, Graham signed a 6 year $5.2million dollar contract with the Jets prior to last season. He could be a star player and target in Australia for 25 games, or for a little more money, he can be a lowly anonymous punter in the US and never have to risk his body in 16 games. Some may consider this a smart financial move, but I consider Graham an unmitigated sellout worthy of the utmost contempt. BENGALS WIN
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper vs Elmo
Elmo is one of the sickest and freakiest perverts in America. He hosts a children’s show, his doll promotes kids to tickle him, and his biggest supporter is an overweight lesbian. Is Elmo related to John Mark Karr? If I walked around like Elmo I would be thrown in jail for the rest of my life, but because he is a little red furball, he gets away with it. BENGALS WIN
Trashiest looking cheerbabe: Rhonee vs Gina
It is really not fair this week for the Bengals cheerleaders. Even though the Jets “Flight Crew” (That is the real name) was just started in recent years, they have the ability to add girls from Long Island, New York. Long Island is the epicenter for American trashy, everything else is just the minor leagues. Nowhere else in the world can one become a billionaire just by opening a nail, hair or tanning salon. Let’s see what Gina from Long Island was wearing as she stepped out of her boyfriend’s parent’s Escalade for Flight Crew tryouts:
At least she knows how to dress for a tryout and highlight her strengths. And then of course you must pose for your individual shot at the team photoshoot. Each girl picked her own pose, and here is Gina’s.
Sadly, Rhonee did not stand a chance, and I am looking for an apartment on Long Island. JETS WIN
Little known Jets fact: Jets star defensive end Mark Gastineau had 107.5 QB sacks in 108 career starts. He surprised everyone when in 1988, at the age of 31, he retired midseason while leading the NFL in sacks. In what can only be described as one of the oddest reality TV show worthy moments, Gastineau retired to spend more time with his new fiance Brigitte Nielson, who was having health problems at the time. Meanwhile, Gastineau was still married to his first wife and reality tv star, Lisa Gastineau, with whom he had one daughter Brittny. Lisa and Mark’s marriage fell apart when Lisa walked into their home to find Mark in bed with Brigitte Nielson. Where were all of the VH1 and E! Channel cameras when the real action was going down?
Labels: Strength Coaches, Tom Cruise, Xenu
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Bengals Bar in NYC
With the Bengals playing the Jets this weekend, I thought I'd let the Bengals fans in NYC know about Phebe's, the Bengals bar in the East Village.
I'd been looking for a bar to watch Bengals games in New York, where I moved to a month ago. Of course, I could find a bar that has the DirecTV package to watch the games, but then I'd be surrounded by fans of every team playing. The ESPN Zone in Times Square was an option, but I needed a place that would help me forget the great WhoDeyFans tailgates I was missing.
Phebe's is the place. It may not be the only Bengals bar in town, it's the one I've found though, and I'm quite happy. For the Monday night Patriots Game, almost everyone in the place was in Bengals jerseys. During the pregame show, everyone loudly booed as Stuart Scott and the other idiots on the ESPN show picked the Patriots to win. (Okay, they weren't idiots that night) And when the Bengals scored their one touchdown, one fan got up, loudly screamed "1, 2, 3" and then the whole place started singing the Bengals fight song.
From what I know of Phebe's, a couple of Bengals fans just decided that it was going to be the Bengals bar, and told every Bengals fan they knew about it. It grew from there.
Watching the game at Phebe's didn't make up for not being at the game, or the Longworth lot before the game, but it was the next best thing--an awesome experience.
There must be Bengals bars all over the country. Do you know of one in your town? Please let us know in the comments section. We're going to create a master list of all the Bengals bars across the country, but we'll need your help. And if there isn't a Bengals bar in your town that you know of, this is also the place to recommend a place.
So help us create the list of Bengals bars by adding the ones you know of in the comments section.
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Ginger, the Mary Anne of the football team.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The kicker, who could not get the ball past the 20 on kick-offs, suddenly booted 5 deep during the Kansas City game. In other news, the Bengals release Josh Huston from the practice squad. So lets get this straight: the Bengals get Josh Huston on the practice squad and all the sudden Shayne “Ginger” Graham can kick the ball. So all this bad field position was because... what... Ginger didn't feel inspired? Suddenly, this proven un-clutch player now proves that he also untrustworthy. Here's a guy who does not have to tackle, or hit or do anything more than kick a ball a few times on Sunday. Since when do kickers need incentive to play hard?Labels: clutchless, Ginger, Hip Pointer
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Jones vs. Porter: the Video
I don't know if this is the right time of the season to share this, maybe I should wait until we play the Dolphins. But you knew a video of the fight in a Las Vegas casino between Levi Jones and Joey Porter existed and it was going to eventually come out. I've been waiting to watch this since I heard about the fight.
It's hard to really tell what's going on, but a few things:
4 guys against one, nice class Porter.
The way these guys are playing, we'll see if either is on the field for Bengals at Dolphins, Dec. 30.
Either Levi doesn't travel with an entourage (refreshing) or his boys didn't back him up (depressing).
What do you think about this video? Is it a good metaphor for our season?
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It's hard to really tell what's going on, but a few things:
4 guys against one, nice class Porter.
The way these guys are playing, we'll see if either is on the field for Bengals at Dolphins, Dec. 30.
Either Levi doesn't travel with an entourage (refreshing) or his boys didn't back him up (depressing).
What do you think about this video? Is it a good metaphor for our season?
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Right the ship
Monday, October 15, 2007
The Bengals are finding ways to lose. Our defense did not lose this game. They were terrible, they made a guy that failed to gain more than 12 yards on the ground last week into a century rusher in the first half. They made an 11 year journeyman look like Montana for a few quarters. They allowed wide receivers about an 11 yd cushion.
But they are not the reason we lost.
I don't want to hear about TJ's record pace this season, or Chads leading the league in yds, these are the kind of stats that are put up when you are behind the whole game. I want to talk about 1 for 18 on third downs the past 2 games. 1 for 18.
Ask anyone around the league and they will tell you what an offensive powerhouse the Bengals are. Against the Chiefs (whose defense is terrible) we could not convert on third down.
Ask Levi Jones if he is still ready to play. He had no problems complaining when he wasn't on the field, but when he was, Jarred Allen owned him.
If it isn't the defense, it's the offense. If the offense is good special teams is terrible. What will be the excuse next week?
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Chiefs Game Steel Cage Questions
Friday, October 12, 2007
A new segment to Whodeyfans begins. We will be talking to an opposing fan-site each week, trading questions, thoughts and predictions. This week, we talk with www.arrowheadpride.com. Check out their site, especially their preview of the Bengal’s game. http://www.arrowheadpride.com/story/2007/10/11/03
What scares you about the Bengals?
ArrowheadPride: Quite frankly, a big pass play for a touchdown. I see Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson and T.J. Houshmandzadeh and think big play. When you're a fan of one of the lowest scoring teams in the National Football League, having any lead is great but having that lead dashed by a 75 yard touchdown pass is absolutely crushing. The Chiefs do not have the offense to make a large comeback in the second half. A couple big plays from the Bengals could quite easily shut the Chiefs down for the entire game.
What scares us about the Chiefs?
Comer Kai: The best way to beat Cincinnati is to keep Carson Palmer off the field. Larry Johnson going against our beat-up linebacking core could do just that. Against the Patriots we had so many injuries, a rookie drafted in the 7th round as a safety was playing middle linebacker. Sammy Morris ate us up. If they didn’t get healthy through the bye week, Larry Johnson has the potential to run for 200 yards and keep Carson on the sidelines.
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What match-up makes you feel confident in the Chiefs?
ArrowheadPride: I'm going to use “confidently,” pretty loosely here. The Bengals currently rank 29th in rushing defense. One year ago, I would have said that's a recipe for Larry Johnson putting up 150 yards and three touchdowns. This year, as I'm sure you've heard throughout the fantasy football world, Larry's numbers are down. Offensive line issues among others plague the Chiefs' running game. I'm hoping that this week LJ can finally get some sort of rhythm going with the running game because we haven't seen it all year. The Chiefs passing game has been its lone bright spot. Well, a glimmer really.
Another general matchup I like is the Chiefs defensive line v. the Bengals offensive line. Judging by some stats I just looked up right now, Cincy's o-line doesn't look they can handle a good defense. Our defensive line is fantastic. I'd call it a mismatch.
What match-up makes us feel confident in the Bengals?
Comer Kai: The Chiefs have great rushing ends but they are a little light up front. The Bengal’s O-line is massive and healthy (Minus Big Willie). They should be able to pound the ball. Kenny Watson running the ball in place of Rudy could be a benefit as he can cut more to the holes that will open up on the edge as the defensive ends go for the sack and slip out of position.
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Who is the best (current) Chief's player, Bengal's fans have never heard of?
What scares you about the Bengals?
ArrowheadPride: Quite frankly, a big pass play for a touchdown. I see Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson and T.J. Houshmandzadeh and think big play. When you're a fan of one of the lowest scoring teams in the National Football League, having any lead is great but having that lead dashed by a 75 yard touchdown pass is absolutely crushing. The Chiefs do not have the offense to make a large comeback in the second half. A couple big plays from the Bengals could quite easily shut the Chiefs down for the entire game.
What scares us about the Chiefs?
Comer Kai: The best way to beat Cincinnati is to keep Carson Palmer off the field. Larry Johnson going against our beat-up linebacking core could do just that. Against the Patriots we had so many injuries, a rookie drafted in the 7th round as a safety was playing middle linebacker. Sammy Morris ate us up. If they didn’t get healthy through the bye week, Larry Johnson has the potential to run for 200 yards and keep Carson on the sidelines.
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What match-up makes you feel confident in the Chiefs?
ArrowheadPride: I'm going to use “confidently,” pretty loosely here. The Bengals currently rank 29th in rushing defense. One year ago, I would have said that's a recipe for Larry Johnson putting up 150 yards and three touchdowns. This year, as I'm sure you've heard throughout the fantasy football world, Larry's numbers are down. Offensive line issues among others plague the Chiefs' running game. I'm hoping that this week LJ can finally get some sort of rhythm going with the running game because we haven't seen it all year. The Chiefs passing game has been its lone bright spot. Well, a glimmer really.
Another general matchup I like is the Chiefs defensive line v. the Bengals offensive line. Judging by some stats I just looked up right now, Cincy's o-line doesn't look they can handle a good defense. Our defensive line is fantastic. I'd call it a mismatch.
What match-up makes us feel confident in the Bengals?
Comer Kai: The Chiefs have great rushing ends but they are a little light up front. The Bengal’s O-line is massive and healthy (Minus Big Willie). They should be able to pound the ball. Kenny Watson running the ball in place of Rudy could be a benefit as he can cut more to the holes that will open up on the edge as the defensive ends go for the sack and slip out of position.
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Who is the best (current) Chief's player, Bengal's fans have never heard of?