Week 17 – Dolphins
The Bengals finally got the running game going, and did they need it since Carson Palmer had his worst game as a Bengals starter. This season is Palmer’s 4th as a starter, and it is his 2nd worst behind his first year as starting QB. His numbers and play have regressed, but not enough that Bengals fans should worry. To see what is going on with the Bengals offense, one only needs to compare numbers from previous Bengals seasons. Here is a comparison of the Bengals offense from Palmer’s best year 2005, to this current season:
Year---TotYPG---YPPlay-----PassAPG--YPG--YPA---RunAPG--YPG----YPA
2007---345---------5.5-----------36.2------246----6.8----26.1--------98.6-----3.7
2005---358---------5.7-----------33.6------239-----7.1----28.7------119.4-----4.2
Remember, the 2005 season also included a healthy Rudi Johnson, Chris Perry, Tab Perry, a season with Chris Henry, Rich Braham and Eric Steinbach. The main difference in the offense is the drop off in the rushing game. In 2005, the Bengals featured one of the Best lines in the NFL with Levi, Willie, Steinbach, Braham and Boobie Williams opening holes for Rudi Johnson and keeping a tight pocket for Carson. Chris Perry accounted for 607 yards of total offense and added a new dimension to the Bengals. Basically this season, the Bengals offense has relied more upon Palmer’s arm, while also giving him less help. The loss of Steinbach and Braham has allowed the pocket to be pushed back into Palmer’s face while removing his safety valves of the Perry twins. Losing Steinbach was bad, but the real pain is in losing Braham’s veteran leadership and toughness. Big Whit and Stacy Andrews have played okay in Steinbach’s absence, but Eric Ghiacuic has been manhandled on multiple occasions this season. This season, the Bengals line and RBs have been in constant change while the only reliable options have been Chad and TJ. That translates into more defensive focus and tighter windows for Palmer, Chad, and TJ to work. The blocking troubles only add to the problem. With that in mind, Palmer’s numbers have taken a predictable dip, but nothing that cannot be corrected with line and running game help. Palmer stats:
Year---------ATT--COMP%---YARDS---TD---INT---Rating
2005---------509-----68%------3,836-----32----12-------101.1
2007---------543-----65%------3,815-----23----19--------84.6
Palmer did not play in week 16 of 2005, so these stats are an equal 15 game comparison. Everything is roughly the same except for the TD/INT ratio which happens when the Bengals have limited options that the defense can key. Helping Palmer, Chad and TJ will allow them not to press, have more success, and build on the tough times they worked through this season. Knowing the Bengals can run the ball with Watson and Dorsey will allow them to run by committee next year with success, no matter who they have on the roster. A free agent or drafted center would also help.

Keys to the Game
The Bengals are off the hook and do not have to worry about being the only win for the Dolphins this season, therefore, I do not care about this game. And I assume most fans and probably most players do not care about this game. The only people getting after it this week will be the bubble players trying to keep up their chances for a roster spot next season. Surprisingly the Bengals do not have many of these players as most Bengals are young draft picks being given their window of opportunity, or old vets impervious to the one game performance. People playing Sunday that fit the bubble description would be – Chatman, Blue Adams, Frostee, Fanene, Schlegel, Daniel Coats, and if he plays, Alex Stepanovich. Some veterans will not return next season, but it will not be because of their play down the stretch. They will be cut because their years in this league have made their ability a known quantity, and the Bengals will know they do not need them. So sit down, relax, and watch the meaningless Bengals game for its pure entertainment value…….and then grab a piece of paper and write an angry letter to Mike Brown thanking him for his years of dedicated service to substandard performance.
The non-winning streak is alive again and Handsome Mike is hoping for a run at his own title of 14 straight seasons. You may think I am kidding, but I am not, 14 straight losing seasons in the NFL is quite an accomplishment. The NFL Salary Cap was instituted in 1994, and as a “hard cap” teams cannot spend above or below the limits of the cap for any reason. In 1994’s cap, the difference between the most and the least a team could spend was $8.65million. Think about it, at absolute maximum, the top and lowest teams in the league could only be $8.6million apart, that might be a single player on a roster of 53($8.6 is what Justin Smith made this season). Having every team within the same range and not being able to win over 50% of your games for 14 years probably takes just as much work as a Super Bowl appearance. Adding to that accomplishment, Prince Mikey’s squad won 25% or less of their games in 7 of those 14 years. Seriously, think about it, winning 71 out of 224 chances when forced within the cap to use the same resources as every other team. Adorable Michael always likes to use the small market and economic excuses, but thanks to certain lawsuits filed against the NFL, the financials of the NFL franchises have come to light, and the excuses do not hold any water(Which is the only thing Brown should hold for the Bengals). The Bengals have been in the top half of teams in profit for almost every one Brilliant Mike’s tenure, and are also right in the middle of the pack when it comes to revenues. There happens to be an NFL team just 90 minutes away that is in a smaller metro area and older stadium that won the Super Bowl last season. It may not be a fair comparison to pit the Bengals against the Colts, but in economic terms, they are very similar. Here are the Bengals and Colts revenues and profits for the past 10 years in millions of dollars:
Year---CINrev---CINprof---INDrev---INDprof
1998------69----------2------------71---------0
1999------92----------4------------98-------16
2000------92----------4----------107---------5
2001-----120---------15----------118-------(-7)
2002-----130---------16----------127--------19
2003-----141---------33----------137--------18
2004-----150---------14----------145--------14
2005-----171---------46----------166--------17
2006-----175---------21----------167--------25
2007-----194---------12----------184-----(-17)
AVG-----134---------16.7--------132--------9
The Colts make less profit, but that is probably because they put money into hiring football minds like GM Bill Polian. Instead, the inherited Braintrust of Dumblebots continues to think they know what they are doing when they have proven for 17 years running that they cannot win a playoff game. During the time of the financials listed above, Cuddly Mike and crew have had their most ‘success’ with an overall record of 59-100 and 0-1 in the playoffs. During that same time, the Colts have gone 105-54 and 7-6 in the playoffs including a Super Bowl win. What does this mean? Mike Brown should be applauded for his living dissertation on the failures of socialism -- Everyone can be given and required to use the same resources, but some people through their sheer bastion of incompetence can still crumble within the system. Lucky for the NFL this isn’t the USSR and Mikey isn’t causing the collapse and dismantling of the eastern bloc. “Hey Money-pinching Mike, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!!!”


When the Dolphins have the ball: The Dolphins offense was their weakness coming into the season. Then losing Wes Welker and Randy McMichael in the offseason, and Ronnie Brown and Trent Green during the season pretty much sealed their fate. They suck and they made a serious run at being the worst team in NFL history. The Bengals should get another look at their defensive backfield of the future – Ndukwe, White, Hall, and Joseph – which played well in their first game together last week. They need a load of game experience before they are a dominant group, but they could be a season or two away from becoming the new Bengals SWAT Team. With Brooks, Jeanty, and hopefully Landon Johnson and Dhani Jones returning next season, the LB corps is one impact player away from being good and could use more depth obviously. The D-line needs the most help to improve the Bengals defense. Peko and Geathers are the only players on the roster who should be locks next season. Of the other 6 players on the roster, maybe a few can be kept for depth. As said many times before, Justin Smith is an okay starter if the Bengals could sign him for what he is actually worth. In January, the Bengals signed Geathers to a 6 year, $33.7million deal, but Geathers is younger than Smith by 5 years, much more versatile, and has already had a 10.5 sack season. In February, the Steelers signed defensive end Aaron Smith to a 5 year $25million deal. Aaron Smith is very much like Justin Smith, a solid and durable starter that does not bring the big numbers. The only difference is that Aaron Smith made the Pro Bowl in 2004 as a DE in a 3-4 while Justin has never made the pro bowl as a DE in a 4-3. A 4-3 is a much easier defense for a DE, but Justin and Aaron have equal career highs in sacks with 8.5. Since Justin is a step below Aaron, a 4 year $16million deal should be the max offer the Bengals give Justin in the offseason, especially considering they just gave him $8.6million for one season. LBs and DLs come free agency and draft time.

When the Bengals have the ball: Too bad Dede Dorsey hurt his ankle last week, this game would be the perfect opportunity for the Bengals to turn Dede loose and see what he can do. The offense took a step back this season, but the key players are still in place to be a top offense again. Injuries and free agency hurt the offense this year, but free agency and the draft can help them get back. The offense needs a few role players to be the top 5 force it was just 2 seasons ago. We should not see much this week from the Bengals offense in a meaningless game against the Dolphins. The once top Dolphins D is now old and beat up. They are last in the NFL against the run, so Watson will probably get another high carry day. Other than that, the Bengals will probably take it easy with most of the focus being on Chad’s post game party in his Miami hometown. I wonder if Joey Porter will be invited.

What you do want to see: The Bengals come through this game healthy. The last thing the team needs is another training staff fiasco with a misdiagnosis and multiple surgeries in the offseason. Even Marvin went to outside doctors for his ankle, what does that say? What is the over/under on the number of players not ready to start the 2008 season? I say 8.5.

What you don’t want to see: Justin Smith get 7 sacks on Cleo Lemon to give Smith his career high and the monster contract to set the Bengals defense back 5 years. Same thing with Dexter Jackson getting a few INTs to justify him being on the team next season.

Matchup of mullets: Carson Palmer vs S Tuff Harris

This dude doesn't really have a mullet, but he does have a nice bald spot comb forward. His name is also Tuff. He is definitely Hangin' Tuff when it comes to continuing the charade that he is not bald. BENGALS WIN

Matchup of Moustaches: Kenny Watson vs OT Cory Lekkerkerker

This guy has it all moustache, hair, ugly, and I am not sure in which category to put him. He was an undrafted free agent out of UC-Davis, but I am sure when you walk into a camp at 6’7” and your name is Lekkerkerker, people notice you. Lekkerkerker also reminds me of a great song by my favorite band Berzerker, which I assume is Lekkerkerker's theme music when he walks around:

BERZERKER WINS


Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. LB Channing Crowder

Channing Crowder gets bonus points for this famous quote about the Dolphin's trip to London this season, "I couldn't find London on a map if they didn't have the names of the countries," Crowder said. "I swear to God. I don't know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that. I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That's the closest thing I know to London. He's black, so I'm sure he's not from London. I'm sure that's a coincidental name."
That's terrific. BENGALS WIN


Battle of old men: Bryan Robinson(33) vs DL Keith Traylor(38)

Old fat people. AMERICA'S HEALTHCARE SYSTEM WINS

Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs Mr and Mr Ricky Williams

South Beach anyone? We now have the ultimate tag team show down. Can the Stormtrooper and Darth Chinstrap put their differences aside long enough to beat Dink and Doink? I think so. Just like the Bengals can finally put things together for their first 2-game win streak of the season, loser Bengals fans can come together to beat the Dolphins. Mr and Mr Williams gave their opinions of football few seasons ago which we can watch below:

BENGALS WIN
Cheerbabe Tussle:
The Dolphins do not have very interesting bios, but they have the All-Name team when it comes to cheerbabes. Let's list a few: Ireivy, Teather, Tarrin, Bibiana, Ashton, Lola-not to be confused with Fabilola who is also on the team, and a girl named after my second favorite band, Genesis. It's picture time:

Erin


Little known Dolphins fact: Dan Marino fell to the 27th spot in the 1983 NFL Draft due to rumors of his marijuana use in college. He ended his career with 420 touchdown passes. Coincidence?