Keys To The Game
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Week 13 – 49ers
The juggernaut is back as the Bengals plowed through another victim, but they are still looking for their first 2 game winning streak of the season. The game was so ugly on Sunday that it wasn’t truly raining, God was trying his best to flood the stadium because the game was actually more offensive than Sodom and Gomorrah. That or the clouds were just throwing up. At home, the Bengals could not put away the Brock Berlin led Rams until less than 2 minutes left in the game. Brock Berlin is the same dude who was benched at the University of Miami for a guy named Derrick Crudup after losing two straight games to end Miami’s 39 game win streak. The Miami offense that year featured NFL Pro Bowlers Kellen Winslow, Frank Gore, and Roscoe Parrish, but Berlin managed 7 points in both losses. Berlin then spent 2 years on NFL practice squads until making his first roster this year, Sunday was his first NFL game experience. The only bright spot was that the Bengals managed to run for 192 yards. You would have to go back to November of 2004 for the last time the Bengals ran for that many yards. That was the 58-48 shootout with the Browns in which Rudi ran for 202 yards himself. Imagine Rudi ripping off 202 yards now and you quickly realize he is not the same player. Rudi’s success in the past was because he was a bowling ball that could break the first tackle and fall forward. He was never a speed or big play back. Since Rudi has lost weight, he has not gained speed, but has lost his bowling ball ability to break tackles. He is now a slow running back that cannot grind out extra yards. None of the Bengals running backs can break tackles which is why the Bengals cannot put drives away and gain the tough yards. The Bengals now need to work the ball more with Watson and Dorsey because they are visibly faster than Rudi and much quicker to hit the holes. If you aren’t going to get broken tackles out of your RBs, at least give it to the guy who can run the fastest and cover the most ground before going down on first contact. It will be a tough decision next year when the Bengals have to decide whom to keep out of Rudi, Watson, Irons, Perry, and Dorsey.
Keys to the Game
Most Bengals fans regard the 49ers as the team that has stabbed the Bengals in the heart during the 2 best seasons in Bengals franchise history. We had to sit back and watch as the 49ers had 2 championship parades at the Bengals expense:
The Bengals and 49ers have both had very disappointing seasons in 2007, however, the 49ers situation is much worse than the Bengals. While the Bengals suck this year, the team has many key players in place to be successful, they just need help. The 49ers thought they had key players in place, but now some of them are questionable, most notably QB Alex Smith. The 49ers hoped Smith would step up in his first year as starter and take control of the position. He has disappointed leaving some to question Smith’s ability and draft status. And talk about striking while the iron was hot, Alex Smith parlayed one outstanding college season in a new style offense, and a down year for QBs, into a #1 overall draft pick. Smith was a 2 year starter at Utah under Urban Meyer’s new west coast option spread offense. The offense still gives teams trouble, but at that time nobody had a clue how to stop it. Playing in the weak WAC Conference, Utah went undefeated and earned a BCS Bowl berth in which they faced the sub-par, 8-3, #20 ranked, Big East champ Pittsburgh. Beating Pitt in the Fiesta Bowl gave a huge spotlight to Utah allowing Urban Meyer to leave for the Florida coaching job, and for Alex Smith to leave early for the NFL draft. Had Smith played another year without Meyer’s offense, or even happened to be in another draft class, his life would be completely different. In the 2005 draft, the top 3 QBs were Smith, Aaron Rodgers and Jason Campbell. In 2004 they were Eli Manning, Philip Rivers and Ben Reach-around-berger, and in 2006 they were Vince Young, Matt Leinart and Jay Cutler. Talk about luck. Smith leaving for the NFL in a down year, immediately following his best performance, would be like having a group of Ben-gal cheerleaders walk by as I was completing the Louisville Chugger and planting a HR on top of Longworth Hall, all while standing next to this guy.
It may be a fluke, but if the right people see it at the right time, you are set.
When the 49ers have the ball: The Bengals defense gets another break this week as the 49ers offense is ranked 32nd in the league, and will probably be forced to start their 3rd string QB. I do not think any team in league history has been lucky enough to face a string of saps like a hurt Steve McNair, Kurt Warner, a hurt Vince Young, Roethlisberger in a mud bowl, Brock Berlin, and now Shaun Hill. Like Berlin, Hill will be making his first career NFL start after entering the league as an undrafted free agent in 2002. Before last week, Hill had played 2 plays in his NFL career and both were taking a knee to run out the clock. With the help of the crew of losers, the Bengals defense has fought their way all the way up to 26th in the league. Expect the same defensive game plan this week with the Bengals crowding the line and blitzing Dexter Jackson for run support. The Bengals have finally found a successful role for Jackson, and that is whenever the Bengals play a terrible team that is out of the playoffs, starting a 3rd string QB, have an offense ranked in the 20s, play in the NFC West, and are out of all passing options, Jackson can blitz as the unblocked 8th defender with no responsibilities and try to make tackles in the backfield. Once a player finds a niche, it’s hard to let them go. Other than that, the Bengals will dare the 49ers to throw and Shaun Hill will either jump start his career a la Derek Anderson, or you will never see him again a la Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.
Shaun Hill might get his door kicked in early Monday morning depending on his performance.
When the Bengals have the ball: Carson Palmer’s recent slump continued on Sunday as he threw one TD pass and unfortunately is was for the Rams. Overall, Palmer played a not completely awful game as evidenced by his 73% completion percentage, but it was the big mistake that again allowed the opponent to take advantage of the sorry Bengals. Lucky for Palmer, Berlin could not get anything going with the Rams offense so only one Rams TD was scored on Sunday. At times it appears Palmer is pressing and buying into Soul Patch’s philosophy of ‘do nothing the easy way.’ Most apparent is when the Bengals get close to the endzone, Palmer tries to force passes into the endzone when shorter routes are wide open. With the way the season has gone, it’s no wonder Palmer is trying to force TDs. But in the past it was his consistency that led the Bengals, not his jaw-dropping thread 3 defender throws for TDs. Palmer has had his amazing throws the past few years, but the important part was in between when he was reading the quick open route and limiting mistakes. Hopefully Palmer can get back on track this week by returning home to California and playing the league’s 23rd ranked defense. The 49ers defense gave up 484 yards to Kurt Warner 2 weeks ago, so Palmer should get some confidence back.
What you do want to see: Lewis Billups catch the ball that bounced off his chest in the endzone in Super Bowl XXIII. 20 seconds later, Montana becomes a Super Bowl legend instead of the guy that threw the INT to lose the game and kick start the Bengals dynasty.
What you don’t want to see: A large number of Cincinnati fans will be going to SF for the game on Saturday. On Friday night, they will probably be looking for bars and a night out on the town:
Matchup of mullets: QB Carson Palmer vs. S Dashon Goldson
Cheerbabe tussle: Ben-gals vs Cheer San Francisco
San Francisco, as a city, has its own cheerleading squad called Cheer San Francisco. Let’s see them in action:
The juggernaut is back as the Bengals plowed through another victim, but they are still looking for their first 2 game winning streak of the season. The game was so ugly on Sunday that it wasn’t truly raining, God was trying his best to flood the stadium because the game was actually more offensive than Sodom and Gomorrah. That or the clouds were just throwing up. At home, the Bengals could not put away the Brock Berlin led Rams until less than 2 minutes left in the game. Brock Berlin is the same dude who was benched at the University of Miami for a guy named Derrick Crudup after losing two straight games to end Miami’s 39 game win streak. The Miami offense that year featured NFL Pro Bowlers Kellen Winslow, Frank Gore, and Roscoe Parrish, but Berlin managed 7 points in both losses. Berlin then spent 2 years on NFL practice squads until making his first roster this year, Sunday was his first NFL game experience. The only bright spot was that the Bengals managed to run for 192 yards. You would have to go back to November of 2004 for the last time the Bengals ran for that many yards. That was the 58-48 shootout with the Browns in which Rudi ran for 202 yards himself. Imagine Rudi ripping off 202 yards now and you quickly realize he is not the same player. Rudi’s success in the past was because he was a bowling ball that could break the first tackle and fall forward. He was never a speed or big play back. Since Rudi has lost weight, he has not gained speed, but has lost his bowling ball ability to break tackles. He is now a slow running back that cannot grind out extra yards. None of the Bengals running backs can break tackles which is why the Bengals cannot put drives away and gain the tough yards. The Bengals now need to work the ball more with Watson and Dorsey because they are visibly faster than Rudi and much quicker to hit the holes. If you aren’t going to get broken tackles out of your RBs, at least give it to the guy who can run the fastest and cover the most ground before going down on first contact. It will be a tough decision next year when the Bengals have to decide whom to keep out of Rudi, Watson, Irons, Perry, and Dorsey.
Keys to the Game
Most Bengals fans regard the 49ers as the team that has stabbed the Bengals in the heart during the 2 best seasons in Bengals franchise history. We had to sit back and watch as the 49ers had 2 championship parades at the Bengals expense:
The Bengals and 49ers have both had very disappointing seasons in 2007, however, the 49ers situation is much worse than the Bengals. While the Bengals suck this year, the team has many key players in place to be successful, they just need help. The 49ers thought they had key players in place, but now some of them are questionable, most notably QB Alex Smith. The 49ers hoped Smith would step up in his first year as starter and take control of the position. He has disappointed leaving some to question Smith’s ability and draft status. And talk about striking while the iron was hot, Alex Smith parlayed one outstanding college season in a new style offense, and a down year for QBs, into a #1 overall draft pick. Smith was a 2 year starter at Utah under Urban Meyer’s new west coast option spread offense. The offense still gives teams trouble, but at that time nobody had a clue how to stop it. Playing in the weak WAC Conference, Utah went undefeated and earned a BCS Bowl berth in which they faced the sub-par, 8-3, #20 ranked, Big East champ Pittsburgh. Beating Pitt in the Fiesta Bowl gave a huge spotlight to Utah allowing Urban Meyer to leave for the Florida coaching job, and for Alex Smith to leave early for the NFL draft. Had Smith played another year without Meyer’s offense, or even happened to be in another draft class, his life would be completely different. In the 2005 draft, the top 3 QBs were Smith, Aaron Rodgers and Jason Campbell. In 2004 they were Eli Manning, Philip Rivers and Ben Reach-around-berger, and in 2006 they were Vince Young, Matt Leinart and Jay Cutler. Talk about luck. Smith leaving for the NFL in a down year, immediately following his best performance, would be like having a group of Ben-gal cheerleaders walk by as I was completing the Louisville Chugger and planting a HR on top of Longworth Hall, all while standing next to this guy.
It may be a fluke, but if the right people see it at the right time, you are set.
When the 49ers have the ball: The Bengals defense gets another break this week as the 49ers offense is ranked 32nd in the league, and will probably be forced to start their 3rd string QB. I do not think any team in league history has been lucky enough to face a string of saps like a hurt Steve McNair, Kurt Warner, a hurt Vince Young, Roethlisberger in a mud bowl, Brock Berlin, and now Shaun Hill. Like Berlin, Hill will be making his first career NFL start after entering the league as an undrafted free agent in 2002. Before last week, Hill had played 2 plays in his NFL career and both were taking a knee to run out the clock. With the help of the crew of losers, the Bengals defense has fought their way all the way up to 26th in the league. Expect the same defensive game plan this week with the Bengals crowding the line and blitzing Dexter Jackson for run support. The Bengals have finally found a successful role for Jackson, and that is whenever the Bengals play a terrible team that is out of the playoffs, starting a 3rd string QB, have an offense ranked in the 20s, play in the NFC West, and are out of all passing options, Jackson can blitz as the unblocked 8th defender with no responsibilities and try to make tackles in the backfield. Once a player finds a niche, it’s hard to let them go. Other than that, the Bengals will dare the 49ers to throw and Shaun Hill will either jump start his career a la Derek Anderson, or you will never see him again a la Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.
Shaun Hill might get his door kicked in early Monday morning depending on his performance.
When the Bengals have the ball: Carson Palmer’s recent slump continued on Sunday as he threw one TD pass and unfortunately is was for the Rams. Overall, Palmer played a not completely awful game as evidenced by his 73% completion percentage, but it was the big mistake that again allowed the opponent to take advantage of the sorry Bengals. Lucky for Palmer, Berlin could not get anything going with the Rams offense so only one Rams TD was scored on Sunday. At times it appears Palmer is pressing and buying into Soul Patch’s philosophy of ‘do nothing the easy way.’ Most apparent is when the Bengals get close to the endzone, Palmer tries to force passes into the endzone when shorter routes are wide open. With the way the season has gone, it’s no wonder Palmer is trying to force TDs. But in the past it was his consistency that led the Bengals, not his jaw-dropping thread 3 defender throws for TDs. Palmer has had his amazing throws the past few years, but the important part was in between when he was reading the quick open route and limiting mistakes. Hopefully Palmer can get back on track this week by returning home to California and playing the league’s 23rd ranked defense. The 49ers defense gave up 484 yards to Kurt Warner 2 weeks ago, so Palmer should get some confidence back.
What you do want to see: Lewis Billups catch the ball that bounced off his chest in the endzone in Super Bowl XXIII. 20 seconds later, Montana becomes a Super Bowl legend instead of the guy that threw the INT to lose the game and kick start the Bengals dynasty.
What you don’t want to see: A large number of Cincinnati fans will be going to SF for the game on Saturday. On Friday night, they will probably be looking for bars and a night out on the town:
Matchup of mullets: QB Carson Palmer vs. S Dashon Goldson
We finally have a picture of Palmer’s mullet, the Bengals WILL finish 8-8 and win the Super Bowl next year if he keeps it. The Bengals fate now lies in his barber’s clippers. If Palmer grows a moustache to go with it, he is in the Hall of Fame and #9 is retired league wide. Dashon's mullet is Gold son, but it is no match for a Hall of Fame mullet. BENGALS WIN
Matchup of Moustaches: RB Kenny Watson vs DB Nate Clements
Here we go again, multiple Pro Bowls, high school and college All American, Clements was even the highest paid defensive player in NFL history for a short time last year. Once Kenny Watson becomes the starter, you can pencil him in for 1,800 yards rushing. Is there an unsuccessful player with a moustache in the NFL? I don’t think so. Turn Kenny loose!!!! 49ERS WIN
Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. OL Larry Allen
Larry Allen is considered one of the best offensive linemen in NFL history making 12 pro bowls, being all-pro 8 times, and pretty much handing the rushing title to Emmit Smith. He is also a total freak and is known to have bench pressed 700 pounds. After High School, Allen attended the much heralded Butte Community College and followed that up with a stop at Division II Sanoma St. He must have really enjoyed wine country because I have no idea how someone like Larry Allen ends up at Sanoma St. How would you like to line up as a D-lineman for the Chico St. Wildcats and go against the greatest linemen in football history? Here is video of Allen in college:
Allen was a 2nd round pick of the Cowboys out of Sanoma St, started 10 games his first season, and made all pro in his second. He is also ugly, but Jeff wins. BENGALS WIN
Battle of old men: DE Bryan Robinson(33) vs Michael Lewis aka The Beer Man(36)
Michael Lewis skipped playing in college and went straight to the NFL, in a round about way. After high school Lewis worked odd jobs until he started playing semi-pro football in his mid 20s. After a few years of that and working his way up to the Arena Football League, Lewis was given a tryout with the Philadelphia Eagles. He did not make the team but was noticed and given a chance to play in NFL Europe. Through his semi-pro and AFL days, Lewis made ends meet by being a beer delivery driver in his off time. Finally in 2002, at the age of 30, Lewis made his NFL debut as a kick returner for the New Orleans Saints and assumed the nickname of ‘Beer Man.’He was named an All Pro in 2003. 49ERS WIN
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs White Big Pun
I had many ideas of what a 49ers fan might look like, but White Big Pun was not even close to any of them. He truly is the arch-nemesis of Darth Chinstrap. WBP even declares himself leader of 'The Empire,' 49er Empire that is. I am sure that WBP also has friends that dress in Star Wars costumes which a 5 year old mathlete would think are losers. Of course, in San Francisco they are probably pink storm troopers or fierce Hans Solo's. This is an epic battle that should really take place in a land far, far away. WBP's bling has a little more sparkle than Darth Chinstrap's, so WBP wins. 49ERS WIN
Matchup of Moustaches: RB Kenny Watson vs DB Nate Clements
Here we go again, multiple Pro Bowls, high school and college All American, Clements was even the highest paid defensive player in NFL history for a short time last year. Once Kenny Watson becomes the starter, you can pencil him in for 1,800 yards rushing. Is there an unsuccessful player with a moustache in the NFL? I don’t think so. Turn Kenny loose!!!! 49ERS WIN
Duel of the uglies: QB Jeff Rowe vs. OL Larry Allen
Larry Allen is considered one of the best offensive linemen in NFL history making 12 pro bowls, being all-pro 8 times, and pretty much handing the rushing title to Emmit Smith. He is also a total freak and is known to have bench pressed 700 pounds. After High School, Allen attended the much heralded Butte Community College and followed that up with a stop at Division II Sanoma St. He must have really enjoyed wine country because I have no idea how someone like Larry Allen ends up at Sanoma St. How would you like to line up as a D-lineman for the Chico St. Wildcats and go against the greatest linemen in football history? Here is video of Allen in college:
Allen was a 2nd round pick of the Cowboys out of Sanoma St, started 10 games his first season, and made all pro in his second. He is also ugly, but Jeff wins. BENGALS WIN
Battle of old men: DE Bryan Robinson(33) vs Michael Lewis aka The Beer Man(36)
Michael Lewis skipped playing in college and went straight to the NFL, in a round about way. After high school Lewis worked odd jobs until he started playing semi-pro football in his mid 20s. After a few years of that and working his way up to the Arena Football League, Lewis was given a tryout with the Philadelphia Eagles. He did not make the team but was noticed and given a chance to play in NFL Europe. Through his semi-pro and AFL days, Lewis made ends meet by being a beer delivery driver in his off time. Finally in 2002, at the age of 30, Lewis made his NFL debut as a kick returner for the New Orleans Saints and assumed the nickname of ‘Beer Man.’He was named an All Pro in 2003. 49ERS WIN
Biggest loser fan: Stormtrooper/Darth Chinstrap vs White Big Pun
I had many ideas of what a 49ers fan might look like, but White Big Pun was not even close to any of them. He truly is the arch-nemesis of Darth Chinstrap. WBP even declares himself leader of 'The Empire,' 49er Empire that is. I am sure that WBP also has friends that dress in Star Wars costumes which a 5 year old mathlete would think are losers. Of course, in San Francisco they are probably pink storm troopers or fierce Hans Solo's. This is an epic battle that should really take place in a land far, far away. WBP's bling has a little more sparkle than Darth Chinstrap's, so WBP wins. 49ERS WIN
Cheerbabe tussle: Ben-gals vs Cheer San Francisco
San Francisco, as a city, has its own cheerleading squad called Cheer San Francisco. Let’s see them in action:
Now let’s see some Ben-gals:
It’s a tough call, but I have to choose Cheer SF as the winners due to their overall team spirit, showmanship, spirit hands, and fierceness. 49ERS WIN
Little known 49ers fact: Owner of the Bengals, Mike Brown, is widely considered a football dunce while his father, Paul Brown, is considered one of the greatest coaches in the history of football. Paul Brown was one of the first coaches to run a wide open offense, administer IQ tests to players, time players in the 40 yard dash, study game film, and teach players in a classroom setting. He won six Ohio state championships as coach of Massilon Washington High School, won a national championship as coach at The Ohio State University, and went on to win 7 championships as coach of the Cleveland Browns. While being a champion as a coach, it was Brown’s first decision after coaching that may have doomed the Bengals for eternity. After stepping down as coach of the Bengals in 1976 Brown, also being owner of the team, had the task of picking his own successor. Two rising stars on Brown’s staff of assistant coaches were QB coach Bill Walsh and OL coach Bill ‘Tiger’ Johnson. Not being a huge fan of Walsh’s style, Brown decided to go with Tiger Johnson who went 18-15 in 2.5 seasons as coach of the Bengals. Bill Walsh, on the other hand, spent a few years as an assistant for San Diego and head coach at Stanford before taking the 49ers job in 1979. Walsh then led the previously 2-14 49ers to 3 Super Bowl championships in 10 seasons with two of those Super Bowl wins coming against the Bengals.
Not all of the 49ers success can be attributed to Brown’s decision of Johnson over Walsh, because Walsh did not coach for a franchise run by Brown. After all, it was Paul Brown, not Tiger Johnson, that drafted QB Jack Thompson with the 3rd overall pick in the 1979 draft instead of Hall of Fame QB Joe Montana. And it was Paul Brown who selected Eddie Brown 3 spots ahead of Jerry Rice in the 1985 draft. So while Paul Brown was a perennial champion as a head coach, when serving only in an executive position, he was not as accomplished. His son Mike Brown inherited the team in 1991 and has served as team president over 16 non-winning seasons out of 17 tries. Mike Brown, now averaging 5.6 wins a season, has also presided over draft blunders David Klingler, Dan Wilkinson, Ki-Jana Carter, Reinard Wilson and Akili Smith. Perhaps the apple, or in this case the retarded cantaloupe, does not fall far from the tree.
It’s a tough call, but I have to choose Cheer SF as the winners due to their overall team spirit, showmanship, spirit hands, and fierceness. 49ERS WIN
Little known 49ers fact: Owner of the Bengals, Mike Brown, is widely considered a football dunce while his father, Paul Brown, is considered one of the greatest coaches in the history of football. Paul Brown was one of the first coaches to run a wide open offense, administer IQ tests to players, time players in the 40 yard dash, study game film, and teach players in a classroom setting. He won six Ohio state championships as coach of Massilon Washington High School, won a national championship as coach at The Ohio State University, and went on to win 7 championships as coach of the Cleveland Browns. While being a champion as a coach, it was Brown’s first decision after coaching that may have doomed the Bengals for eternity. After stepping down as coach of the Bengals in 1976 Brown, also being owner of the team, had the task of picking his own successor. Two rising stars on Brown’s staff of assistant coaches were QB coach Bill Walsh and OL coach Bill ‘Tiger’ Johnson. Not being a huge fan of Walsh’s style, Brown decided to go with Tiger Johnson who went 18-15 in 2.5 seasons as coach of the Bengals. Bill Walsh, on the other hand, spent a few years as an assistant for San Diego and head coach at Stanford before taking the 49ers job in 1979. Walsh then led the previously 2-14 49ers to 3 Super Bowl championships in 10 seasons with two of those Super Bowl wins coming against the Bengals.
Not all of the 49ers success can be attributed to Brown’s decision of Johnson over Walsh, because Walsh did not coach for a franchise run by Brown. After all, it was Paul Brown, not Tiger Johnson, that drafted QB Jack Thompson with the 3rd overall pick in the 1979 draft instead of Hall of Fame QB Joe Montana. And it was Paul Brown who selected Eddie Brown 3 spots ahead of Jerry Rice in the 1985 draft. So while Paul Brown was a perennial champion as a head coach, when serving only in an executive position, he was not as accomplished. His son Mike Brown inherited the team in 1991 and has served as team president over 16 non-winning seasons out of 17 tries. Mike Brown, now averaging 5.6 wins a season, has also presided over draft blunders David Klingler, Dan Wilkinson, Ki-Jana Carter, Reinard Wilson and Akili Smith. Perhaps the apple, or in this case the retarded cantaloupe, does not fall far from the tree.
5 Comments:
I have seen a lot of this on the WWFL...
i like to play a little known game called
"fact remains"...
Fact Remains:
the 49ers crushed the Bengals.
TWICE.
VOOGE
Fact Remains you are a moron and your argument only holds water in the 90's.
moron? !!! Cincinatti hasn't done SHIT since the last time the niners whooped their ass in the super bowl......not done SHIT!!! you know this
vooge....can you tell me how to get to "Cincinatti"? is that real?
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