Leave it to Steelers fans to say they are going to answer some questions and then totally cut us down by the knees. Luckily, I was prepared for just such a “Kimo type” occasion and took the liberty of answering for them. If Behindthesteelcurtain ever replies, I’ll post their answers. Here is what I think they will say:

What scares you about the Bengals?
Steel Curtain: The fans. The Jungle is rocking when the Steelers come to town and it scares me worse than a whole flock of beat-down nasty Pittsburgh women. It is scary to think how flustered Ben will get when Cincinnati brings the noise.

What scares us about the Steelers?
Comer Kai: Dick’s system. No matter how much the Bengals practice, 30% of the snaps will feature defensive match-ups the Cincy offense has never seen before. They get the question mark of how do we attack this? Can we adjust? They defeated a 3-4 team last week in the Jets, which is a good sign, but the Steelers are a different beast. To beat Dick, you have to match-up against the scheme. Last week the Bengals didn’t face a nose guard like Casey Hampton or a safety like Polamalu.

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What makes us feel confident in the Steelers?
Steel Curtain: Nothing. We’re terrified.

What makes us feel confident in the Bengals?
Comer Kai: Carson Palmer. The Steelers defense has been solid, but they haven’t really been tested by a high powered offense yet. Browns, Bills, 49ers, Cards, Hawks and Broncos. Provided Carson gets a little time, and no one crawls forward and blasts his knee, he has the arm and the head to get the ball to receivers that are better than the Burgh’s corners. Carson will have his eye on Polamalu and will throw wherever he is not, forcing Ike Taylor and Deshea Townsend to make the play.

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Who is the best (current) player Bengals fans never heard of?
Steel Curtain: As most Steelers fans. I am fairly fair weather. I know we have Big Ben, Hines Ward and Jerome Bettis. We call him, “The Bus.”

Watch out. He's real good.



Who is the best (current) player Steelers fans never heard of?
Comer Kai: No one knows fullbacks and the only reason his name may look familiar is because he shares the same last name as Chad, Landon and Rudi. Jeremy Johnson has been a solid player since coming out of Western Kentucky in 2003. But last week he was an absolute force. The whole game he was blasting through the line and moving linebackers, clearing the way for Watson’s three touchdowns. He will be a pivotal player Sunday; unlike when Rudi is running in a straight line behind him, Steelers will have to guess which side of his 260 pound body Kenny Watson will cut from.

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Who wins and what is the score?
Steel Curtain: Bengals win in a landslide. Ben cries in post-game press conference.

Comer Kai: It’s all about offense in Cincinnati and the Bengals finally remembered how to score. Sure it was against the Jets, but scoring is scoring, and winning is contagious. Keeping the offense on the field makes our defense more successful and forces Ben to throw the ball to catch up. I see the Bengals pushing to score touchdowns and winning with their backs against the wall. 31-27.

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If there was a steel cage match instead of a football game featuring one current player, who do you nominate?

Steel Curtain: Jeff Reed He’s gonna bring the leg. And his frosted tips… bitch.

Comer Kai: Justin Smith. You do not want to enter the steel cage with J. Smith. He has an Anheuser Busch Tattoo on his arm and he wants to tattoo it into your forehead. Look up “big country hillbilly who would love to stab you with beer bottle.” and you’ll see J. Smith. Put him in a steel cage and he’ll drop into a 4-point stance and come at you with a motor that never quits. Two men enter, one man leaves pointing to the Anheuser tattoo on his arm screaming, “Iron City’s got nothing.”